While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." Matthew 26:26-28

For whatever you've done is the past and those sins; Christ have also taken it.

Everything happens for a reason, I always believe God is fair~

I've been through what you have. I understand your feelings. All your feelings.... Sometimes, some things in life are just so hard to take; when you just feel like giving it up- But as you think deeper; those who wished to live don't even have that chance but you (we) are given that chance to live for another day... The day should be beneficial~

Many other things can make you happy;

Do charity at an orphanage? Old folks home? SPCA/PAWS?

It might seem like a waste of time; but when those people are really thankful to what you have done for them it really gives you happiness. A kind of happiness that cannot be described..

We came from somewhat an almost same background; thats why i understand you very well.. Thats why our thinking are almost alike because we've seen the world, a world not many knew; and only a few saw. I hate it very much when people view me like a small kid; a kid that will never grow up. Little did they know what have this kid gone through throughout the years. Sometimes it is all this experience that makes you think; grow stronger and learn to treasure life.. It is good as long as you don't fall in; one wrong step will turn your world upside-down..

But once i believed I've seen the most of it; I've seen enough of it. I pulled myself out of everything. I tried making a difference; i tried to help those i could. But i realize i really can't and instead i'm falling deeper and deeper. I would say i'm lucky and that God always keeps an eye on me. I became different the day I accepted life as it is; i begun praying; i'm beginning to take life in a different way; i thought more maturely; i wanted to live life to the fullest. My chance to live this long 19 years i wanted to help all those that i can. Those less fortunate ones...

I found happiness in many things i did. And when i'm happier; things in my family seemed more different, i seemed more accepted. And i was just happier. This is one part of you i couldn't read; thats why i say you are difficult to read. You know, like i always said i'll be your ears when you need someone to talk to.

Just a video to motivate you :)

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=483830584745&ref=mf

Ps: I believed you changed a lot since i first knew you. You were already different when you first picked up a book and read :)

GoodLuck ^^