love
is unpredictable
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My Name Is E.v.E
18 Candles Blown on 18th March 2009
Have been a college student since 5th January 2009
Currently studying in Taylor's Lakeside
Before this was studying in INTI SJ
Contact: evelyn_yap@live.com


LOVEs
My MOU MOU
Family
Friends
Hersheyyss
Baskin Robbins c&c
Pretty DResSSSes


WANTs
Everything Worth Wanting~
A new car Sort Of Achieved!
To be a millionaire at a young age
A new ring ACHIEVED written with the name JOE
To be successful
a PSP
Loose many kg's!


CRAPPINGs

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ClickClick ^^

AFFILIATEs
Adeline.Y
Ai Sha.S
Aisya.Y
Amal
Angie
Angeline.Y
Atheera
Ashwin
Briged Bestari
Cacing (mandrin)
Chan.K.M
Chandraysh(twin)
Charmaine
Chooi Fun. Y
Chui Man.C
Daisy
Damien.K
Daryl.C
Ee Von
~Ethan~
Family Blog
Fu Sheng
Gary
Grace
Hannah
HsuYi
Ilham
Ivan.C
Janielle
Jerrard
Jill
X.Jong1
X.Jong2
Joyce (UNreopened)
Kenny
Kenny Sia
Laksh
Ms. Azrin
Nabila
Nadhirah.B
Nicole.S
Pei Min. C
Penny
Pet Positive
Pn Chris
Pn Su
Priscilla
Purple Clove
Renee
Saleha
Sam
Sam Tan
Sara
Sheren
Sheryn.C
Shing Chye.L
Storm G
Thomas
Wayne.C
Wee Yan
Wei Han.L
Xr
Yen San.C
Zack
Zoe



MEMORIESs

May 2007
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Straw-Berriez.BlogSpoT.CoM
As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . .
I will always keep falling in love with you.
Karen Clodfelder-
Friday, August 27, 2010 10:05 AM

Reached Terengganu yesterday night :)
Will be off for lima hari!

I was like so bimbotic ~.~
Since i've never been to LCCT
i was asking Ethan, HAR?! we gotta walk out and walk the stairs to take a flight???? O.O
He was busy laughing at me Zzz..
Sorry lah I've only gone to KLIA =.= and took MAS flights mostly.... LOL they usually have a walkway T_T

LOL.
and the live demonstration was.... so close to me !! because the plane is sooo small....
We basically have to sit 90Degrees..

Can't wait to go to the beachhh

Signing off~~

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 11:22 PM

Thank you Dadi & Mister Joe
For being free labours :P

I'm so tired, today have been awesomely hectic yet fun! so not like a "holiday"
Hope everything will run fine ^^

Also thank you Kah Yann & JY =)
I know we pick things until we gone crazy *still feel dizzy*

*the conversation in the car is still the best and the worst*
LOL!

Sorry for the short post, i really have to go continue packing luggage.
So tired. & so moody because i can't sleep.................................

Off to Terengganu tomorrow! guess i won't be blogging much in this 5 days.
Do miss me.
Loads of Love EVE-
12:16 AM

Hope all our efforts will be worth it :)
Cheers to
Rawr-ing our way through it all.

^^

Loves!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 1:15 AM

Why i feel single life is better?
Because i feel happier somehow.
No more arguments
No more cries
No more beggings
No more shoutings.
No more empty promises.

If i love something, i won't give up working my best to get it.
Just like my dreams. I love it. I won't give up searching for it.

You just don't love me.
It is a fact.

You just buy things for me to fulfill my needs.
You don't care what you buy.
You buy for the sake of buying.
There is not much thought on things you give me.

What have i bought you that you don't use and see everyday?

I took a week to look for your presents. I drove all the way to shah alam, to Faber Towers, to Puchong. Your birthday, i took a month to think of what to give you. I pestered your room mate. I made your cake. I customized your gift. I stayed awake till late at night to wrap your presents. Decorating stickers on it. I never knew how to make origami love shapes. I watched video until i know how to make dem. I made our 6mths video until 3am in the morning; i was so glad it turned out so nice. I walked the whole mall to look for the photoframes. Took me a whole night to select the pictures that i wanted to print out. When i was cleaning the room yesterday; the pictures fell off... it only felt of memories.

My 19th birthday was a disaster;
you telling me you won't be with me during my birthday. My present wasn't wrapped. My card was empty & best of all you tell me its recyclable. I won't question if the plastic is worth Rm 50 because i know you like frisbee disc. But you said the cake was "sponge cake" and not worth your money.

I don't need you to buy me starbucks
I don't need baskin robbins
I don't need all this materialistic things.

I just want you to give in your heart when u treat me.
I waited for a year and a half.
I still waited for a few more weeks.
I waited and waited..
Until i've made up my mind.

Some chances only come once in a lifetime. If you've missed yours then its over.
Its too late to regret on things you should've done earlier.

Hey baby,
You know i really gave you my heart throughout it all.
I really thought you were the one.
I still remembered 1yr & a half ago on our 3rd date i told you i wanted to go ice skating & after a year and a half. We haven't yet entered the rink.
Until now; i don't think we'd have the chance anymore.
You know baby; you've never wrapped me a present before?
Honestly, do you realize whenever on saturdays when you come down i'd feel moody at first?
Because you were never punctual.
And when you are late it means i'd spend less time with you.
Baby, I know you love to watch movies; all this while it is just to accompany you. I don't have that extra favourtism on cinema.. i don't have to be in the mall. I don't have the need to squeeze yr wallet dry, i'm not that kind.
You've never really planned our outings before...
& i've always hated that you never tell me your plans earlier. You'd always tell me last minute; hey i'm going for frisbee later.
Your game is much much more important than me.
Trust me. I know thats the truth.
It hurts me even more when you told me during primary & secondary you've made things for your crushes. Yet i've been your gf for the past 547 days and i got nothing.

I've got no intentions to control you.
I just think you should study more during exam time, i know how last minute you were.
Yet i know how much you don't want to disappoint your mum.
I know how tired you would be. I know you'd be gone for at least 3 hours.
I know and i think for you.
If you think that is so controlling; really i've got nothing to say. But i know you hated it.

I think your place is quite dangerous at night; i asked you to go out way earlier den your normal habits. Yet again, you hated it. I've already stopped controlling when you weren't so out of control.

Baby, i just hate it when you drink. Especially you are the one driving. I love you and i don't want you to risk your life and other people's. I knew you hated it. I knew you hated telling me you'll be drinking. I don't get it why you like to get drunk so much. I can't find another reason except that our relationship is that bad.. until getting drunk makes you think less and feel happier.

Rest of it, i've never controlled you before. I give you all the trust. I've never checked your hp msges before. I've never logged on to your hotmail or whatever although i know you password; because.. hey, i know everyone needs their own privacy.

I'm sorry, i have not been the perfect gf..

But right till the end, just if you are thinking. I never cheated on you before.
It took me two days since sunday to clear my feelings before i could tell you on Wednesday.
Because right till now nothing happened.

Thats why i feel no guilt.
But everything is too late to be returned to normal.

I warned you. You just didn't bother, baby. You could only be blaming yourself.
It sometime fears me how true my feelings can be..

You don't regret this relationship.
But i think i do.




Sunday, August 22, 2010 10:38 PM


Library~

This is so cool; i feel like snatching his spot! :P
The bar counter :)
View from the top :D
CHUBBY AH PEK JOE and PRetttyyy EVE! hahahaha omg so funny!
ROFL

So that was,
JY's BE-earlied Birthday :)

Went to pyramid; to find him shooooe.
Shopping have never been so hard before -_-
Glad that he liked his new REEBOK ^-^

Went to eat at the Apartment & Study at the library :P
All the so called "rajin's"

Me & Xiyi :)

Drinking session :)

Free copy of Magazine on beers & wines


The gf & the giraffe (bday boy)

LOL being GANAS!!! Give him a nice kick from under table! :P

I don't like asking permissions, sorry :P
Epic!

I dun like being photo-ed. WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?!

Wendy's (lunch-nesss)

Evrything is not in order; so yeah; just go wif the flow! haha
It is so fun to be OUT of control =]
Single life have never been better ^^
8:40 PM

All of you could be summarized in half of my small drawer.
You still don't understand.
But its okay.
Because i give up in making you understand.


I don't want you to feel "used"
That is why I never admitted anything.
I am the problem; not you ... really.
I lost trust in a relationship.. all of it.
I don't find commitment something important anymore.
I feel that i could live w/o a man beside me.

I've grown in this month to be a different person.
I realize i can take care of myself.
I'm not any weak girl you see.
I'm no longer that small girl; who longs for someone to give her love.
Because I've seen how selfish & calculative one can be.

I didn't answer you when you asked me certain sensitive questions is because i don't want to make empty promises anymore. Really, i cannot see the future; i won't know what is going to happen. Just like in the past; I've made ONE empty promise.. i regret saying it.
Back then at age 15; i said i would never use the word 'forever'.
I said it.
But, i did the reverse of it..

I am the one with the biggest problem. Honest.
You're just fine. Believe me you are.


Thanks again for the below =]



Hope you've cleared your mind in church today.. bet you did; because i did! ^^

P/s: Lucky no mad man scolding ppl this week haha!

Saturday, August 21, 2010 12:18 AM

Summary of the day

Morning had breakfast with the Chicken backside :P
And in the noon had to deliver him his wallet -_-
then went to meet the babes !!

Joycieee & SHinnnnnnnn..~~

Thankssss Shin Love it BFF'ss always ^^



And during the night, a deliver man delivered me this.
haha~
Thanks! now i assure you i won't fall down :P (I hope)


LOL i was so shocked at the "BIG box" of NIGHT LIGHT.. which turned out to be a LAMP ~.~
Its really cute though! xie xie ni :)






Thanks bunny boi!You know, whatever happens good or bad. I'm here to listen...
I really do know how you feel..
Its probably one of your weakest points.
I swear that is my weakest point too.
But in the end they are still "family"
You can pick friends but you can't pick family. What my dad always tells me...
Right till the end; it is still your family...
You won't leave them i know. You're a very filial son right till the end....

I used to always compare. The more i compare; the worst things got.
Now i'm just so neutral about everything.
I no longer feel as much pain until unless....... things happen haha! rest of the time i just barely cared.
I know you're a very very good boy.
I would be proud of you. Very very proud of you :) if you are my kid.
At a young age, you've gone through what many people haven't
& You earn your own allowances; yet you did pretty well in yr foundation & Degree :)
So don't look down on yourself. I know one day you'll do things much greater than this.
I believe in you...
provided if you believe in yourself! and really; don't do rubbish anymore!

~signing off~




Friday, August 20, 2010 3:09 PM

It is easy to look for a good guy; but it is never easy to look for the right one.
I know you're trying to change yourself to suit me and its getting tougher.
If it is so hard for the both of us might as well we put an end to it now?
Maybe then things would be better.
You are trying so hard
and i think you're not up to my expectations.
and we both feel so hard to keep up already...

Like what my friend said "hey at least you're not married yet"

If it is hard for you to keep up with me now, i'm sure its going to be harder for you in the future.
You just need a simple life.
But i always think differently.
What i've told you is not just a dream; i never took it like a joke; i want to make it reality.

I want to be the director of my own company in the future; i want a MNC.
I don't know if i can make it; but if i don't try i'll never know.
I want to drive big cars and have a big house.
I want to pamper my kids in the future.
I want to be able to give them whatever they ask from me next time.
I will allow my kids to turn bad.
Its okay. Because then, they'll see the world.
They will mature faster than others.

I say this because I've once been through it.
I found that i think differently.
And honestly i think all successful businessmen/women always have a "history" behind them.
I believe in the future i will be sitting at their place telling my own story.
I believe i can do it.

My life story is a big and thick book of experience.
There are painful moments; & things i saw that i wished not to..
but i believe it pushes me further, it makes me tougher, it makes me stronger by nature..
It makes me who I am.

I am the weirdest girl you'll ever find.
I play computer games like a guy.
I curse & swear.
I don't wear make up.
I don't often wear heels. Slippers are more of me.
I love driving (more like speeding)
I love cars.
I don't follow latest fashion. I do shop but totally not like a girl. (accounting sickness)
What are beauty products?
Lotion? i barely put on my skin -_-
I hate house chores
but i can always repair cupboard, lamps, lights, beds and computer -_- if i have the strength i wouldn't mind repairing a car :)
I love electronics.
Reading story books :)
AND comics :P
Anime is sooo me :D

I like climbing hills when i was younger.
I didn't give up when i fall down.
It was real pain.
But i was real stubborn.

I guess thats me..
I won't give up searching for my dreams. And i believe one day i will reach the top of the hill and say.. Look i made it. This is to myself.

Ps: Off to Work :)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 10:45 PM

Maybe its time for me to give up on you after all.
You don't understand me at all.
I gave you 1 week and a half to prove yourself to me.
You didn't.

You just proved how much you don't understand me; even after what I've told you so far.
No efforts, No changes, taking things for granted.
Thats you.

Sunday; a very important day. You remembered nothing.
Yet you can still ask me why?

Please ask yourself, how important i am to you first.
From the day you tried to push me away.
I assure you is the day you no longer loved me.

Yes, i sometimes control you.
But its usually for your own good.
Yes, i sometimes want to have more time with you because i don't see you often.
Thats because i want you to know i love you and needed you by my side all the time.
You felt different & think differently instead.

You always say u prioritize me.
Like I always say; don't actions jst speak louder than words?
Your actions never say the same.

You never really put in your heart.
You never gave me sincerity.

Maybe never isn't the right word.
I would say you did. But that was before i became your gf.
You took 3 hrs to come down and see me. Yes, that point i saw yr sincerity; thats why i fall for you. But as time grew; i see less... rather close to None from you.

Baby, i loved you. Really did. A lot.
Its just fading more and more.
I can write 100 reasons why i love you in 30 min.
You can't do the same for me.

I Lov-ed You. Past tense.



Monday, August 16, 2010 10:27 PM

For every God's plan there is always a reason.
I'm sure there is a reason behind all this..

Remember we went through Communion together?
Communion is the day we remember what Christ did for us; which is to sacrifice himself to take up all our sins.

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." Matthew 26:26-28


For whatever you've done is the past and those sins; Christ have also taken it.


Everything happens for a reason, I always believe God is fair~

I've been through what you have. I understand your feelings. All your feelings.... Sometimes, some things in life are just so hard to take; when you just feel like giving it up- But as you think deeper; those who wished to live don't even have that chance but you (we) are given that chance to live for another day... The day should be beneficial~

Many other things can make you happy;

Do charity at an orphanage? Old folks home? SPCA/PAWS?

It might seem like a waste of time; but when those people are really thankful to what you have done for them it really gives you happiness. A kind of happiness that cannot be described..

We came from somewhat an almost same background; thats why i understand you very well.. Thats why our thinking are almost alike because we've seen the world, a world not many knew; and only a few saw. I hate it very much when people view me like a small kid; a kid that will never grow up. Little did they know what have this kid gone through throughout the years. Sometimes it is all this experience that makes you think; grow stronger and learn to treasure life.. It is good as long as you don't fall in; one wrong step will turn your world upside-down..

But once i believed I've seen the most of it; I've seen enough of it. I pulled myself out of everything. I tried making a difference; i tried to help those i could. But i realize i really can't and instead i'm falling deeper and deeper. I would say i'm lucky and that God always keeps an eye on me. I became different the day I accepted life as it is; i begun praying; i'm beginning to take life in a different way; i thought more maturely; i wanted to live life to the fullest. My chance to live this long 19 years i wanted to help all those that i can. Those less fortunate ones...

I found happiness in many things i did. And when i'm happier; things in my family seemed more different, i seemed more accepted. And i was just happier. This is one part of you i couldn't read; thats why i say you are difficult to read. You know, like i always said i'll be your ears when you need someone to talk to.

Just a video to motivate you :)

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=483830584745&ref=mf


Ps: I believed you changed a lot since i first knew you. You were already different when you first picked up a book and read :)

GoodLuck ^^

Sunday, August 15, 2010 10:11 PM

You are really out of your mind to take my challenge of
walking from Cheras -> Subang -> P.J jst to buy me a drink ~.~
You'll shrink even shorter PurpleDino!!

Afterall i think the 70-75% is a better choice -_-

You are C-R-A-Z-Y!


just like cookie monster! Big Mouthed and cheee sin!!!

as promised center parting post :P
How to comb center parting hairstyle? you all should ask purpledino because he's a PROFESSIONAL :P
kekeke~


Part 1
Guy A : I think i'm sick T_T
Girl B : OHH.. okay. SO? :P
Guy A : ....................... i know you know where i stay one.....................................
Girl B : Got such things? O.O

Continuous.... Part 2

Guy A : YOU KNOW WHERE I STAY ONE... sobs.....
Girl B : i don't know....??? @.@
Guy A : I drive to your house den you take care of me !!! =(

Haihs. Thick skinned number 1 D:
Saturday, August 14, 2010 11:31 AM

The "pinkie" is currently sitting infront of me studying. Hahahaha~~

Clipart Illustration of a Pink Man Standing And Reading An RSS Magazine
Morning on a Saturday FEELS GREAT! :)
I'll always feel energetic because i'll always have like 10 hours of sleep teeheee~
Okay, maybe the reason i am so happy is because i quit my job :P
but one thing i'm definitely not happy about is how am i going to tell PHILIP. shoot~

Coming to campus makes me miss uni life... Sigh!
Studying is more fun at least time is not so rigid. No more auditting jobs for me!
NOO MORE...... NOOOOOOOOOO........

Life is so damn bright after i decided to quit the job. Thats how much i am suffering =(
Honestly, no more cockroaches! Imagine having cockroaches eggs dropping on yr legs. really FML..........

Just had Mc D lunch, and kids beside us was busy laughing at our stupidity.
Wait! its more like his stupidity because of his "retardation of tongue muscles" hahahaha~~~

I can still drive a manual car! believe it or not :D
Wanted to sink his car instead of crashing it to a pole more fun that way :P


Didn't mati engine at all and went all the way to gear 3! :D
I'm not all bimbo after all :P
But yr clutch seriously needs damn alot of energy to step on -_-
would have leg cramps if i'm in a jam!!!
Though i would be thinking of having both auto and manual cars at my home next time :P just for the fun of flying my car at gear 5 :P

Its at least better than you having yr leg stuck in an auto car! haha! thats way more classic ;)


Someone, somewhere in the world. (a guy specifically)
Produces such things with flavor !!
*laughs until sick*

Guy A : I think i'm sick T_T
Girl B : OHH.. okay. SO? :P
Guy A : ....................... i know you know where i stay one.....................................
Girl B : Got such things? O.O

thick skinned........... haha~~!!

Ps : shall i or shall i not blog about our yesterday's "sausage" conversation? I'm so tempted to do it! hahahaha. *runs before you catch me*

PPS: Stay on to next post about; how to set up yr CENTER PARTING hairstyle. HA-HA-HAAA.. I think your BloodPressure is on Boiling level already. I better go get ready medicine for you :P

Loves~
12:50 AM

I didn't expect you to be able to carry me!
what nots walk the whole round of stony roads~!
you are really out of your mind.. haha

Thanks for making me laugh; though i really couldn't...


haha, you're the biggest perv afterall

Ps: don't worry... its all going to be fine ;)
Thursday, August 12, 2010 9:16 PM

You really don't have to read my blog!
It is MY THINKING.
& I like writing - I wrote for myself to read not for anyone else! so fuck off! if it disturbs you so much okay?

You NEVER grew up; YOU never matured; YOU SCREWED UP EVERY FUCKING CHANCE I GAVE YOU. DON'T YOU DARE COME FUCK WITH MY LIFE ANYMORE!!

a) You blame ANYTHING around you BUT YOURSELF!
You blame the mall;
You blame the date
You blame the DAY
You blame the time
YOU BLAME the people
YOU EVEN BLAME GOD!
BUT YOU NEVER REFLECT UPON YOURSELF!!

b) When i did something wrongly i took the initiative to buy you gifts and wrote a sorry card for you. YOU NEVER DID THE SAME BUT YOU JUST FUCKING BLAME THIS, BLAME THAT!
YOU NEVER APPRECIATE THINGS I GAVE YOU! YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE THAT THE SORRY CARD I BOUGHT YOU WAS THE SAME ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR ME WITHOUT WRITINGS INSIDE! IT IS SO FUCKING INSINCERE!!

c) I have NEVER cried on my birthday before! thanks for making me remember this one best birthday EVER! THANK YOU.

d) I WOULD NEVER TOUCH THE GAME CALLED FRISBEE ANYMORE THANKS TO YOU AGAIN! FUCK THAT SHITTY GAME. I have NO TALENT at all! I can't even throw a stupid DISC properly. Yes you are right! i am fucking dumb!

e) " this is my 1st relationship i don't know what to do"
Fuck you! Do you think this is my 100th relationship? i would know what to do ALL THE TIME?

f) Since the start of the relationship I've already told you I love soft toys! but it never was something you realized. "if i buy you more you'll be sleeping on the floor" damn you.

g) How much do you understand me? Why every time you just don't support my ideas? when my Dad is also supportive with me!! Why when i tell you about work; i'm stressed why do you have to always say you are going through something worst?! why can't you just simply say hang on there; i know its hard for you! IS THAT SO HARD TO SAY? OR ARGUING WITH ME IS SO DAMN FUN WHEN I AM ALL STREESED UP?

h) 10 times when i'm sick i CARE ABOUT MYSELF! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE SICK? I don't think i have to explain? driving down 40min to make sure you're okay texting yr roommate; wipe sweat for you every 30min when you are having fever; made sure you ate medicine!!
4-5am I WOKE UP JUST TO call you REMIND YOU TO EAT MEDICINE! EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH YOUR PARENTS.

AND YET YOU CAN CLAIM!
"you know how worried i am when you're sick?" *with the FRUSTRATED TONE*
honestly i DON'T KNOW!! i remembered last year when i was sick you barely bothered; you barely called me. I almost cried waiting for your call! its like you don't even care if i died.
This year when i'm sick

1st sms - tonite bring u see doctor ( after i said i don't need )
2nd sms - lets go for movie.

I AM SICK, I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GO FOR A MOVIE WIF ME SINCE A LONG TIME AGO; I AGREED & I SACRIFICED MY RESTING TIME TO WATCH THE MOVIE WITH YOU! I SNEEZED THROUGHOUT THE BLARDY 2 HOURS!!

NEXT DAY I BECAME WORST! and again YOU ASKED ME FOR A MOVIE.
DO YOU REALLY CARE?? YOU ARE WORRIED?? hahaha *laughing*

i) YOU LOST YOUR FREEDOM? so you think i didn't lose mine? you are so selfish
I pushed every outing i have on Saturday; do you know? i'm not you i sacrifice and i don't COUNT OUT LOUD! NOW I AM DOING IT BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED !

j) What have you SINCERELY made for me? i can tell you NOTHING!
If you count a white paper enveloped STAPLED very sincere. and after i complained?
You know i've never received something i can keep from you; something more valuable.
Yet all your gifts i took at least A WEEK to make them.

k) YOU NEVER WROTE YOU LOVED ME ON MSN BEFORE! YOU NEVER DID.

l) YOU NEVER WANTED TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP AT FIRST; ITS LIKE I DON'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU

m) You even made me cry during exam!! all i wanted was to be with you. spend more time with you. YOU PUSHED ME AWAY to watch football; and its not like i didn't let you.
"don't you need to study?"
YES I NEED TO, YET I WAS THERE BECAUSE I'M AFRAID YOU ARE BORED! YET YOUR WORDS HURT ME SO BADLY!

n) Inception was such an important thing to you right? that your gf's feeling totally don't matter!
I can't even be compared to a stupid show.

o) You can raise your voice to me.. you can "fat lan cha" all you want now. It does not concern me anymore.

p) The wall paper of yr laptop was never me. Mine was always us.

q) Even christmas; my sisters wedding you made me angry. What else sweet memories have i left with you? Maybe you have a lot; because i pour my love towards you always. You never did the same. You are calculative; you complain....


Its the last time i'm ever going to cry my way home from work. Last time....
Talking without action is you..

Dad&Mum, thanks for being supportive with whatever decision i make. Thank you for not nagging; its really the least i needed right now. Thanks for telling me "I told you so" haha, which i predicted from you two..

I waited for your text on Saturday; i thought you would ask me to go to church with you. You didn't even mention.. it doesn't matter anymore. Really...

I have never been this angry before....


Tuesday, August 10, 2010 9:23 PM

Thanks to the person whom really made an effort... making me this very special bookmark. I am so touched :) made me love reading even more~



This made me feel so happy yet so sad. It reminds me how much effort i put into making all this last time, and never once i've gotten any in return despite how much i say, hint or told. On the other hand, it really made me happy because someone else is really taking the effort to put a smile on my face although, really at night i can't smile at all..

Sometimes some things just cannot be compare.

Thanks so much for making this until late at night; despite needing to study... i saw a lot of effort in it because I've been in your shoes; i will appreciate it =) xie xie ni.

My turn to say thanks a million times haha~~
If i met you 2 yrs ago; things will definitely be different..
Monday, August 9, 2010 10:15 PM


I'm currently reading this book called
"somewhere in between"
I didn't purposely pick the book from my cupboard it was such coincidence....

book cover of  Somewhere in Between  by Ruth Gilligan

What's so weird about this happening is because; it resembles so much to what is currently happening to me.. Everything the girl character thought of was exactly on my mind. It is so similar - that reading it seems creepy. Sometimes i think books actually pick their readers instead of readers picking the books. Its like they know~

As I read, and i think... many many things again.
I remembered the days when you used to court me.
It was SO different. It actually feels like you love me... but as time passed by... things seems so different.. do you realize?

I gave you many chances but every time you just disappoint me over and over again.
I confirm you that you're thinking i'm pushing the blame; when really I am the one... and you're the victim. At first i thought i was... but right till the end i know i wasn't; i read back my past posts which tells me many many things.

It highlights the cracks. Cracks none of us realized.
I remembered you scolded me for being jealous and i said then; that you should be happy when i am; because you actually meant a lot to me. But now i don't think i feel much of it anymore. My heart doesn't really ache when i saw you commenting on other girls profile. At that point it freaks me... really does.

I always felt that when i'm giving you 100% of my love; you just tried to push away. You needed your freedom.. Now, i'm really giving you your 100% freedom back. I'm tired. I'm so tired...
Its time for you to be more independent. I need a long break from all this.

Really.. what happens in the future; who can predict?


PS: i cut my hair :



Alright off to bed now~ loves
Sunday, August 8, 2010 3:10 PM

Sunday - Church Day :)

Yesterday again i thought a lot~
Saturday, August 7, 2010 8:02 PM

Have anyone ever told you this before?

" hey, if you like/love someone else please tell me okay? T_T "

LOL much?

Had a fun funnn funn Kuala Lumpur half day trip ;) Eye opening definitely and super SUM TONG. ~.~ those whom went with me will know why :P

I had BEEEFFF nooodlessss today! YIPEEEE~ after like 1 n half yrs never eat really miss it =(
Though its not the best shop or the shop i always ate at but still it taste REALLIIEEE good because i missed it shooo much. :)
BEEF NOODLES one more round guys? :P
PLEASSEEEEEE *big big eyes* i wan the hor cheng yuen oneeee =(

Oh, and we had muarr cheeeeee + cendol as dessert too~~~ Thumbssss up!!

PC fair was just -_- omg. PUSHY,STUFY,JAM but nonetheless many things to see; so pretty FUN overall :)

I would Love KL if its not so "chap" because banyak benda to look at :D its like going to malacca jonkers hehehe~~~

I realize i haven't laughed so freely and happily for a long long time and i'm not in a mall/cinema on a SATURDAY. WOOOHOOO
I've found myself officially because now i know i'm doing the things i like :)

what if i tell you all i don't wanna get married at all? :P

PS: Dobermans' & Lamborginis' are damn leng chai + Yeng CHAI okay? :)




Till the end i still love labradorrrr/ labrador retriever are so cute when they're young and so handsome when they're grown up. EIII~~~ want to rare two of em next time (name them Edge & Max) :D



12:53 AM

Have anyone every worked as an auditor but have to do filing and run away from cockroaches before?

Thats me.
FML.

I'm Quitting. Fuck this job. Worst one ever! No joke
Wednesday, August 4, 2010 11:11 PM

I've come to realize things didn't happen in short term... it was a long term thing all along. Its just that we didn't realize it coming.

Many times it happened during the year; none caused me such feelings. This time everything is different.

It makes me ponder..

I hate to admit things I've done wrongly.
My heart is aching so badly today which makes me wonder is it physical or mentally?

-EvE-
Tuesday, August 3, 2010 11:38 PM

I've been thinking alot lately. So much that my brain capacity could actually keep.
How should i deal with this?

My tear glands felt so dry.
So dry that tears couldn't even fall anymore.

I feel bad, i feel guilty yet i know i did nothing wrong.

Monday, August 2, 2010 10:13 PM

Finally had my personal spaces after so long
Went to swim in the evening; yet again i see the beautiful sunset...
which didn't last long...~
however it was a real beauty...

Being under the water takes all my worries away.
The reflection of the water shone by the sun is pure bliss and beauty... looking at such a nice scene i almost forgot to come up for my breathe...
Its hard not to think about leaving the world with such problems in my head now...
Honestly; both would be happy after i left. Like i said; you'll be sad for 1-2yrs but after that i'll be forgotten and you both will have a brand new life; brand new girl tht loves you two..

Its like sacrificing one for the happiness of two.So worth it right?

Sigh~
Sunday, August 1, 2010 10:15 PM


crying won't solve any issue. Face the problem. and fix it! i know i can do it~! Lord is with me forever and always!
7:36 PM

Its been awhile since I've find you, my personal space.
I knew I've abandoned you since i didn't have the time to write; after I've started interning and all this problems started falling on me.

Life used to be happy, so happy.
Love used to be so easy.

How did this just happened?

IS my heart so easily shaken?

Or am i just like me; when i was younger?

Would the prophecy be true?
Though none of us said we bother at first; but deep down in our hearts we remembered those words. It hit us hard didn't it?

I never expected myself to be the one; i never expect it coming. Maybe I did? Maybe i tried stopping? but in the end everything failed.

I failed myself this time.

God gave a solution; i shouldn't ask why and just do what He says.
But it obviously didn't save tears from shedding.
Everything is so painful. So damn painful.
But in the end life still moves on....

I need a break from everything; just a getaway~~!