love

is unpredictable

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Straw-Berriez.BlogSpoT.CoM
As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . .
I will always keep falling in love with you.
Karen Clodfelder-

decisions, decisions, decisions!!!! gah~ screw em all.

Tomorrow is class parteh and i can't wait. Keerth & amal is said to have made up nick names for us to be made into tagz. Well, it'll be a suprise. I think i already know what name will be given to me. miss sleeping queen. Hello. I only fell asleep in history class like that once. -.- It takes them a whole year or maybe not to get it out of their minds.

okay I've said it. That we'll just be best friends but hell yeah i just can't stop falling in love with him. How shitty is that? i mean which of an idiot will actually sms me when the sun isn't even up yet, plus he's in a hotel at JB which he can nicely be enjoying his sleep! Owh and guess what after knowing that I'm fit and ready to go to school he tells me he's going back to sleep. O.O' I've only told him once - wait not even once, i just ask him to listen to Timberland(apology) saying its nice. And automatically it registered in his brains that i love that song and tells me whenever its up on da radio. Which guy will even know i like choco's & loli's so damn badly. Non of my ex-es did so far. In a random talk i think i told him about my friend or something, stuffs that happened & he actually remembers every single freaking thing i told him after months!what not he'll ask if everything is going fine. He'll give constructive advices - well sometimes bullshits too. Worst of all he know how much i hate teases. But all the time he always do it to annoy me. =.= he usually knows where is the extent and doesn't really try to go over it to save the sorrys he have to repeat to actually get me to forgive him. =)
No,no,no i can't let my brain flow on like this. We are friends nothing more than Best Friends.

I finally got over it. To not think of it & treat him just like my best friend! He is just going to be my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. =)

Maybe 5 years later, everything will be different. I don't know but it will be 5 years later. And like i said i won't wait for you. When there is a chance i'll grab it and i hope that you'll be happy for me. I doubt you would though. I couldn't care less it was the choice you made. And i'm just following the choice that you've made. 3rd Nov. The day for you to clear everything. I'm going to be really happy for you if your wish really comes true. Honest i will! It was something you wished so hard for, you deserve to have it come true.

The truth that i wanted to hear from you, you've finally admitted. It was more than enough. I was more than happy to cry over it. You know i've always hate keeping things in my heart. It was a relief that i've finally said it. The last time when you said it, i wasn't in love with you. This time it was vice versa, but its not that you don't love me, it is because we really can't be together. I knew it, and i understand. I'm sorry you've lost all the trust in me. But one thing is for sure, the both of us had been through alot. Shortest time, yet the biggest impact. I truly understand what love meant now.

Loving is just to see someone that you love living a happy life. It doesn't matter if you can't be with them. It really doesn't matter.

You still owe me loli's & you've got to give it to me! =) or not i'll sell your body to her. You'd be more than happy to owe me my loli's. *smiles*

"It was worth all the pain i've been through after all"

Haha! i just found this on my phone! =D my phone is keeping damn lotsa junks nowonder its moving like some tortoise!

LOLS. I can't believe that i'm spam posting. =D

This morning 6.50am. Mel called. oh-so-kind wanna wake me up for school.

me: mhhmmheloeem
mel: not going to school today?
me: mhmm?? noo laaaazzyy
mel: stupid lazy pig! wanted to call you to wake you for school.
me: O.O" not going lar. Wanted to budden lazy. alarm just rang. I switched it off n continue sleeping. haha.
mel: i'm going JB now.
me: har? go JB ?
mel: i TELL YOU DY WERD.
me : (who the hell remembs wht you told me =P) Go JB for wht? nthing to do ar? you baru ny come back ryte??
mel: babled something i can't really hear, i think he said they all wanna go for fun or something.
me: ya lar damn free ryte go there for fun. -.-
mel: ya lar. Haha. hey! this time gonna reload my phone dy! very sure got credit. haha
me: no need reload lar. Throw it down the longkang ny. Your phone mmg useless one forever no credit.
mel: you throw yours la!
me: haha! what for? at least mine got credit can sms n talk. Yours forever tada. elek.
mel: k lar shoo~ go back to bed lar you. BTW, i never sleep last nite haha!
me: wht you do ar?
mel: lepaked all nite haha!
me: i slept at 4am LOLS. too addicted to da book mwahaha.
mel: okay lar. Sleep so early. Go sleep now. SHOO.
me: alright. Enjoy your trip okay!
mel: nites nites.
me: night? whoa doesn't look dark.
mel. It is dark unless you turn on the lights. haha.
me: who wanna turn on the lights for me? my soul?
mel: haha! yr mum! k lar wanna go ready.nitess!
me: byee!! have a good trip!
mel: bye.

stupid fool. Buat kacau ppl sleep ny. HAHA!

I just finished this book yesterday. To be exact this morning. It rawks. Honestly. I totally love the story line. It keeps you in suspens to find out what happened at the ending. It is actually about this girl real smart that she got herself into harvard uni and that she nearly got raped by her boyfriend. The bf that she dated for a year used rockie(a date rape drug) on her. The story is so freaking nice!!!!
This was the meg cabot book i bought from popular yesterday =) currently reading it. Since the book i bring to malacca was abit erm, boring. Haha. That was the only book left unread. I am so inlove with sticky hands. Feel like re-reading! LOLS. All America Girls written by meg cabot was also damn amazing! Meg Cabot is actually on of my fav writers. =D

Oh crap, talking about it i havent finished all my fearless yet. I think i forgot everything needa re-read. LOLS. Ah YI! i don't care you'd better pass me the inkspell book! YOU EITHER READ IT give it to me. OR YOU LET ME READ XIN!!! i want itttt.....!!!~~!!!! or not.... i tell your mumi! hahahahahahahahaah!! =D

Hey ryone! i'm back from my malacca trip! i was fun FUN FUUUUNN!! we had lotsa fun eating dere. Haha! gained loads!!!



We forgot to bring camera dere so yeah just simply ny took some pictures wif my phone cam =) i'll upload it ASAP.



Btw, putu piring taste delicioussssss!!~~!! chendol's and abc dere is fantastic. Satay celup is ermm.. gulp.I'll nvr return lar. Haha. But my sis1 n aunt sorta liked it. xD



School was a dread today. THANK GOD no results ^^. But i had to run around like some idiotic freak to collect langsirs aka curtains from classes. And those freaking juniors left their stuffs just like that at the stupid gallery and watched ppl do yoga. WTF?



Stupid mel and yi hao kept on rubbing it in by saying wht results you got today?!?!?!?! it was the first thing they asked after saying hi. See how mean can your oh-so-called best guy friends be? uh-huh a bunch of meaners. Yi hao kept on rubbing in saying i ate alot and i gained needa go on diet, and i can't attract cute looking CHINESE guy because i eat alort. What is wrong wif that subang cave boy. I was the one bullying him all this while. NO FAIR!



Mel, i'm not of age to go to that rave-trance, super cool suffling thing okayy. Dun make it like a pain on the arse for me or i swear i'd smack you! just wait till i meet you. HONESTLY i will. Damn i'm reading this book, 'sticky fingers'. Its so freaking addictive! seriously. I can't get my eyes off it. Everyone seems to be attracted by the front cover which is this guy kissing a girl and you can sorta see his boxers. That guy have this sexy back. Serious sexyyy!! owh and i bought another meg cabot book. OMG! sunway's popular rawks. Seriously i feel like shifting that whole blardee shelf back home.But yeah only bought one book. If not i'd have my ears fall down over the usuals "you still have toones of books that you haven't read blablabla story". Hello. you expect me to pick back up an enid blyton book to re-read or wht? course its all read. LONG ago.



Mel's sleeping like ah-pig after malacca, guessed he danced like crazy dere. Fool. I can't get in there and dat fool is boasting about him getting to drive this toyota hilux[course not his, his friends bro's]. LOSER. I'm not envious. NO NO NO. I am NOT. okay i have to admit i am. =.= Stupid fool.



Yay! i'm gonna look for work since it is so hard for my parents to jus FORK out a lil cash to let me learn driving. So wtv it is i don't care, i'm working then i'll have this over their ears for the years to come. " owh you paid for my sister's for 'their driving lisence' even when she failed! and i have to earn it myself". Let me try working? you seriously derno the hard work i've been thru at school especially when that stupid technician ain't hired yet. I don't think i needa TRY. DM my aim. Course i dun think i'll go work at McD's i mean, comeon. So if you don't fetch me there i'm gonna walk. Since petrol for you is oh-so-expensive.I'm not changing my mind over joining olah raga. I've never once got support from my family over what i do. Wrong nor correct. Nothing is, wow i'm proud of you. Everything is a No. No. No. No. is just how they put it. In this years i've grown to not care of what they say anymore.Course i do give allowance to thier doubts but i've always proved it wrong. 3k was an example. Briged was one either.



If i think back, all this while they never knew i was good at sports. Probably i didn't even exist in their mind. All they know is oh i am bad at academics. Hell yeah i am. Cause i never put in effort. HAHA! gotta admit that. I was have never once gotten ANY support from them. I remembered this one year i think it was in form 2 or 3, i got into long jump as reserve or something. LOLS imagine long jump reserve & i was stamina-less didn't even go for training. I was utterly shocked over that pick. But i had to nicely reject my teacher having her asking me WHY AREN'T YOU GONNA COME ONE THAT DAY? i had to say my mum didn't allow. She was asking why your mum dun allow and nonsense. I just kept quiet. It is all that i can do. Seriously, i don't even know the reason why she don't let. Always when i bring this up to my granny she'll say oh your mum's just caring she didn't want you to get hurt and all. Why not keep me in a box? such an unreasonable reason.

I can cry anytime when you just say back things that happen during form 3. It was my breaking point... seriously. I was so stupid to have let idiotic family problems get in my way. Friends of mine that they never approve. Saying that i kept everything secretive. Hey, you don't expect me to tell you oh my friend smokes do you? Not telling you is because i know how your reaction will be. I think that year, the friends i was with, I learnt alot. Friends you say are bad, Yes they are. And i know why they don't change. They can't change me either because i am who i am. I don't get talked into things easily. Plus i'm never attracted to cigarettes. I've gone through real hard times with them . And you might not know how much i know the world now. Maybe its not just about how long you've lived in da world. Its about the exposures.

Sometimes don't you just think, why do you want to bring me to other countries? honestly I don't need those kinda things. All i am asking for is just a little more attention on me. Which i get alot less compared to all my other sisters. How long it has been since i talked about school at home? You can always argue that i have this fucking attitude problem thingy. The problem is with all of you! its always me me me me me haven't you think about yourselves? Look since the last time we've really went out as a family was god know's when. I don't even remember! see how bad it is? In Form 3 i hardly get out of the house. HARDLY. my only escape was tuition. I am banned from the cyber world. So tuition was my ONLY escape, it was my pleasure, entertaining times, happy times. I wasn't like that in the earlier of the year. I was good at tuition. I was still perfect even when i left. Although more talkative. But i no longer do any self study because i think it is damn useless. Even when i almost aced every subject all i get is nothing. PLAIN nothing maybe not nuthing, i think i got bunch of scoldings. Why care to even study anymore? yes you can keep on saying i'm stupid , studying is for MY future not yours. But hey, every kid/teen studies to get a lil more praises and attention. Rewards. You know it makes difference. It does. My dad knew something was wrong with me that time. He just knew it but he didn't say a word. He even knew why, but he just didn't take any action into fixing it. I've learnt something over there. Treat them invincible, work for my goal and get out of here ASAP.

I don't understand why you can spend thousands over some dead things rather than some money on your kids? You banned me from going out of da house, that'll be okay if you'd bring me out. But no you don't so hello. Do you seriously think i'd be nice to STAY in? then think again. When you find out you just blowww. I did that on purpose. Seriously don't say i'm bad okay. I asked you said no. You made me miss my fav show over da cinema. You made me miss a chance to be with my friends that i hardly will meet in a years time. You made me give up on camp. You made me give up everthing that i really wanted. You can be a skater when you were young, you can be hse capt when you were young. & your kids can't. What reason is that? Skating is expensive etc etc needa bring you there and stuff. I feel really discouraged all this years. Especially, 'wht hse practice'?. Go also no use. Yeah no use. I naive-ly thought it was last time. I loved sports, but never had a chance to acheive anything over there because all my sisters NEVER had an interest in it. That doesn't mean i don't.

How many times i felt to just jump out of the road and get hit by a car, die and leave a name. No to driving because it is expensive. What sorta reason is that? i just don't get what's wrong with them. Fine. I honestly don't want to bother anymore. If i can, i even wanted to pay for my own stuffs because i hate depending on them. I just don't like it. I don't like the way they put things. They way they say i take everything for granted. FYI, i don't. It is not the way I look at you, is the way you make me look at you. You can't scare me over how terrible is the world outside because i've already seen it. I'm always a kid in your eyes that'll never grow up huh? i wished i never would too. The fact is that i'm already 17 next year. one year and 5 months more i'm 18 which means i'm legal to alot of things already. There is nothing wrong with way i dress. I just wanted to look pretty like all the other girls do. I hardly even wear makeup because you all say i look old, but hello every teen now looks like this. I want to have nice clothes too, i hate those lil kiddy clothes. I take a handbag is because i want to put my purse,hp,tissue anything a girl's hand bag should have. Because i am tired of fitting every of this in the stupid small pocket. It ruins my jeans and making me uncomfortable. I don't look like 26. I can never have anything i wanted because i am never given shopping money. i can buy things when i'm with you? Yeah i can, but when will you bring me out with you? i'm always that forgotten one, coz i can't drive i'm too young for this & that.

Dad, honestly.. even when you look back at all those pictures, you said i look taller more grown and all. It is time to actually have me walk by myself. I'm just going to the bookstore to stare at books which i can't afford. Can't you just let me? i have a cell phone, you can ring me up to just ask me where i am! The bookstore doesn't have LEGS to run away. [sigh]

They always say i nvr loved my family. If i don't love it, i bet you it won't affect my PMR. All this family things won't even get into my head. My best times was during tadika. I never had nice teenager memories. I pick to erase it all. Erase everything like it had never existed.

The blogger went on a holiday to malacca. So miss her!

~lurves~

Defeated. I was defeated badly..

defeated by myself.

You can never imagine those shocks i got after my exams....

All those feelings that i had. Happy, disappointed, sad all at one go....

First of it was english. Paper 2. Although it was an A1 for my 1119 paper but it just wasn't good enough. After i've read jan's, tarsh's, and sara's paper it was just fabulous. I mean they can write so perfectly their english is superb. Compared to mine, it was like shit. I've expected such results. Honestly. I have no idea what to write on that day... maybe i'm just too tired of thinking.. sigh.



What not i got back my add math paper. The amount of nonsense mistakes i got. Sometimes people say the higher hopes you have, the harder you fall. Yeah. I agree. I don't even know how to face mrs soo and tell her i dropped from a B to a C thats even if i can get a C. I might just get a D. No joke. Mistakes,mistakes, mistakes. Well, i can't blame it all on mistakes still it was me that have been so reluctant to start any practices. Only started 2 days before exam. It should be expected.. i can't face myself.



I just came home and thought i can have a nice lunch get everything over with and nap. Guess what. I found a cockroach on my lunch, my grannie bought it from somewhere.. totally destroyed my appetite..



After exams we had free time. Elly was checking her paper so i joined in. I found out that half my paper was wrong. No it wasn't because i didn't study hard enough. The answers were all so freaking close. Even shireen, the one that will probably get 91 for add math had that much mistake. The paper was honestly horrible. While i was studying last night it was like checking on my bio paper 2. I started yelling my head off. I nearly cried over those mistakes i've made. I even forgot to mention on malignant tumor, stupidly enough i put benign tumor instead. Exam is just one peice of shit. Finally i thought i can get a weekend out of it, but oh-no those news just have to come falling.. if SPM is like this... i'm running away from it. Seriously. I'd rather run than have me see those marks that i'm about to get.



"What more can i do? sit there and grieve... its just not the way."



No one can feel the pain that i'm going through now. My day was horrible. It all started when he didn't show up. Then my paper, then my results, the the cockroach in my lunch. I just wonder how bad can my day get... maybe i'll just fall and hit somewhere later. [sigh] moodless. speechless. emo-ing.



"how can lifeless people can actually hold a book 24/7 and not let it go? how is it like to study 24 hours a day? i really wonder... maybe i need to try it someday."



When i need you, you ain't here. When i don't, you stand right infront of me. Crying silently.

Exam-free isn't so happy after all. For at least i ain't smiling.

Gah~ few more hours we'll be over and done with exams! yes!!!!!! flung my last paper and be happy =)

I'm dyinnnnnnnnnngggg~~ need to replenish sleeps. Look at my pandy eyes. Oh My Gosh... horrible i tell you. Need to replenish my health state too.. having dry coughs =.= suddenly will get flu.. see lar see lar.. what this nonsense stress does to the body of mine.

Grrr....

Each one starts out by telling 6 weird things about themselves. Poeple who get tagged need to write (in their own blog) 6 weird things as well and state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave each of them a comment letting them know you tagged them and the cycle goes on.

1) I am a prone worrier. I worry about every little thing
2) I can be emo, when i'm not sad
3) I actually like studies
4) I like to play games. (as in overly kind )
5) I talk too much
6) Love guys that don't love me? (is that weird?)


LAYER 1 :
On the outsideName : Yap Evelyn
Birthdate : 18Th March 1991 [i nearly put 2007 haha]
Eye Colour : Dark brown
Hair Colour : Dark brown
Righty or Lefty : Righty

LAYER 2 : On the inside
My Heritage : Hakka
My Fears : Insectssssss
My Perfect Pizza : beef peperoni

LAYER 3 : YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
My Thoughts First Waking Up : SHIT! exam!!! book! whre is my book!
My Bedtime : 5am.
My Most Missed Memory : kindergarten life cause i didn't have to worry bout anything and it was just play, play and play

LAYER 4 : MY PICK
Pepsi or Coke : both will do.
McDonalds or Burger King : of course McD.
Single or Group Dates : single
Adidas or Nike : both will be fine. If i really have to pick den Nike
Tea or Nestea : O.O' i don't know
Chocolate or Vanilla : depends on what food.
Cappuccino or Coffee : mocha.

LAYER 5 : DO YOU....
Smoke : Do i look like i smoke? if you say yes watch me twist your neck off
Curse : bah! who don't
Take A Shower : no. i've been living in a cave. Kinda stupid question ryte?
Have A Crush : Yes
Think You've Been In Love : Yes
Go To School : No, all i do is just lay home. what sorta nonsense question is this?
Want To Get Married : yeah when i'm 27.
Believe In Yourself : Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Think You're A Health Freak : I won't be overweight if i am.

LAYER 6 : IN THE PAST
Drank alcohol : yups. I lurve red wine
Gone To The Mall : hello? which fool haven't actually been to da mall BEFORE?
Been On Stage : ya, when there's nobody around i just walk up the stage n play. Stupid questions.
Eaten Sushi : =.= what do you think?
Dyed Your Hair : can't. still in school. but i'm gonna dye my hair after spm >.<

LAYER 7 : HAVE YOU EVER
Played A Stripping Game : no... don't plan to try.
Changed Who You Were To Fit In : yeah.

LAYER 8 : AGE YOU'RE HOPING
To Be Married : after i'm assured that he'll be the guy that will walk me with the rest of my life

LAYER 9 : IN A GUY
Best Eye Colour : brown
Best Hair Colour : depends
Short Hair or Long Hair : short, i don't like gays.

LAYER 10 :
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
A Minute Ago : This
An Hour Ago : Consoling friends of mine
Hours Ago : sleeping
A Month Ago : reminding myself exam is coming
A Year Ago : mapling day n nite

LAYER 11 : FINISH THE SENTENCES
I love : nobody
I hate : bitches
I hide : secrets?
I miss : being a kiddo
I need : more sleep and money and also to focus on my studies for next year's spm
I tag : Any of my blog readers that feels like doing the tag. =)

8 more hours, and we are all done with exams. Exam-free!

EXAAM - FREEEEE...............................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn! can you imagineeeeeeeee even my maid asking.. your exam haven't finish?
This morning my conversation wif dadi

dad: today last day huh?
Me: *shakes head*
dad: then??!?!?!? when finish?
Me: Friday.
dad: HAR!?! next week friday?
Me: *in heart* [if next week friday i'll go suicide lor] tmr... friday...? O.O"
dad: Oh yeaaaahh~~~~

haha~ he didn't know today is thurs. =.=

Ugh~ why they gotta make bio paper last... i don't even have the mood to actually take up my book.
What i have in mind now?
exam-free
exam-free
exam-free
exam-free
exam-free~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole class was studying till half crazy i tell you...
The 2nd last paper, which is history.. everyone in class was like study study study..
i sat at the table with my history book until teacher call... EVELYN!!!! haiyooo~~~~ haha~
Amal took off her shoes while she was studying..
Diane's kurung was up up up...
Nad's legs was on the chair.
LoL! symptoms of studying till crazyyy..

Sigh* meeting tmr. Crap! wht kinda school is that! after exam straight meeting. WTF's
Summore... summoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................................... after meeting. WTF. Something called result. Called add math paper. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF............
STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..................... gah she can't let me ENJOY my weekend without something called self-guilt! For being such an ass hole that i forgot rhombus cuts IN DA MIDDLE to form something called 90 DEGREEES. and thus i lost 10 mrks. FUCK.
*runs in high speeed and bangs her head to the wall*
Died! i wish~

I'm going through all this without you.. or maybe i'm trying to go through it all without you. You kept wanting to come back in to my life. You're angry that i locked you out of it. I'm sorry. I don't think i am ready to get hurt, physically nor mentally. I think i'm doing just fine without you right now. I can't help that i fell in love with you. You ask me why did i. I am asking the same question, which i still can't get the answer out from my nerve cells. Maybe love is just complicated. Or just maybe i'm stupid enough to make it. I have the whole world that is loving me. I have someone that is dying to be with me. Someone that will die for me if he had to, but i picked someone else over him. Someone that i know will never have an ending with. It has always been like this.

"You'd rather see me than him ryte?"

Last week yes. This week no. I'm not looking forward to see you. I'm not looking forward to go out with you. No, i'm not angry over the lolipops. No i'm not angry over we can't be together because i already know this from the start. Yes, i don't even want to bump into you. I'm just angry with myself coz i already know the ending yet i let myself fall in it. I didn't stop myself earlier, and if i don't stop it now everything will be worst. I'm sorry if you think it is unexplainable & i'm sorry that you'd have to lie to yourself and say that you've never loved me or gotten into me. I'm sorry you can't take up the courage to end your past and start anew. I'm sorry because i won't be waiting for you. I'm sorry because I have the courage to end all the past and start everything again. I'm never scared of failure because what makes success is failure. The more i fall, the stronger i grow... the less naive i am. Now i can say aloud, that i no longer love you. I'm sorry if you think i treated you really coldly just now. Answering your messages was already a bonus. Stop treating me so good, because we've always been friends. Friends don't treat each other this way. Friends don't say, let say if we had a chance to be together. Friends don't say, what if we got married. I used to be best friends with a guy. I know it isn't this way. I'm sorry that i pierced your heart with the truth. In other words, i pierced both of our hearts. Why are you dying to see me when you don't miss me? why do you want me to look for you when you don't want me? why do you get jealous when i'm closer with someone else? Why when you say you're not into me you are so bothered to be in my life? with a reason because i am your very close friend? Why are you so bothered to make me happy when i'm not? I just don't get you. I'm sorry.

One more day & one more paper. I can't wait for tomorrow to come. I can't wait to sit for my bio paper to get it OVER and DONE with.

Today physics paper sucked. Honestly, i don't even know what shitty answers i circled and shaded. Math was fairly okay, despite the fact that my angles of depression failed.. so i basically whacked all of the back part. =X History was fun! i mean fun as in i read the stuffs before, but of course you know my brain cells are limited so i definetly forget some. Okay quite a number lar.... =X not much confidence either, but i liked the questions =) . I'm not checking though! i don't wanna get too depressed over it.

Great news, NOT! my add math teacher said "i'll be giving you all your add math papers tmr"
I shouted "NOOOOOOOOO~~!!!!! teacher you can't do this to us!!!!!!!!"

Of course she didn't even bother to listen my complaints! =.=
Yay!!!!!! going to malacca right after exams! yipeeeeeeee... BREAK!!! finally!~ Ngehehehe~~
I can finally lay in bed and rest in peace!!!!~~!!! honestly my brains didn't sleep this whole god damn week. I am too busy worrying about every single thing. STRESSSSSSSS.....

Gah~ monday it'll be registration for SPM papers next year. Hey school! can't you just let us have a break wif exams... there goes the finals and here you come reminding us about SPM. =.=

On the other hand, yay! he didn't reply me i am sooooo happy!!!!!!~~!! he is too busy with his exams this is what i wanted.. i am too busy with mine either. So yes! its the time for me to escape.... i am too stubborn for you to convince..

I lost. I lost to him & to God. It rained really heavily.......

I am forced to give in. He's asking me to wait but he say he can't give a specific timing.
[SIGH]
Mel, what if... just what if she comes back for you? what will happen to us? I honestly don't want you to be back with her then ditch me & come back one day to tell me you can't forget me... then you'll spend another years time to wait for me... Hey! this is nonsense! it is crap.

i am in a dilemma..........

You aren't cute. You are short. You look like a malay. You are so skinny. You look weak. You smoke. You look gay. You are stubborn. but i fell for you.

Sometimes it is really not about appearance... it really is about the heart... the love...

Why did i fall in love with someone that is so "chiang ching". haih...
stupid stupid stupid!

YES THE GUY I LIKE SMOKES SO? If you don't know him then phuck off. SMOKING doesn't makes him bad! fucking ppl that descriminates! The reason why the world is full with smokers are because of idiots sissy's like NIGEL wtv his fuckingfull name is i don't give a damn, that descriminates ppl. Oh-so-wht he smokes? he's at his LEGAL age to do so. You haven't even MET my mum before so don't pretend that you have. I think you haven't even seen my dad so shut the heck up! Proton saga is still a car! If you are oh-so-fucking rich FYI the money is your parent's and not yours think before you speak. Use a little of your pathetic retard pea brains.
I can't catch up? watch my A come home loser! Don't be so childish next time. Would anyone use their own name and say themself a bitch or a whore? Get alive! I brag? why not say you boast? *laughters*

*breeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaathhhhhhhhhhhhh*


Teach me what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~!!! I shouldn't even have replied him. My stupid effing itchy hands.
(figure out yourself whu is me & whu is the other half)

(3:13 PM) ♠~♥~☠ ♀~Th3 EnD™:
I am sorry for being childish. If you think i am. Be friends? do you seriously think everything will work out? Let me tell you the ending. I'll leave you one more time, and this time everything will be worst. It has happened before and i'm not going to let it happen again. If i am not thinking, I won't walk away. Honestly. Now we'll both be happy, i can find a new guy and move on with my life and you can continue waiting for her. I want you out of my life because only this way i can have you forgotten. I'm just not you, i don't hug the past and live my life. I move forward because i hate being stagnent. Just before i want you totally out of my life, remember what you said before about stopping smoking.Every guy says they need a girl to help them stop but seriously speaking that is just a reason for ya'll to continue shortening your own life span. Holding on to the past is your strength,yet your weakness. Don't lose it because it is what that makes you special & also your big heart.You always act like a meaner but deep down in you,all you cared about is others yet not yourself
(3:14 PM) ♠~♥~☠ ♀~Th3 EnD™:
i really should stop ranting already. Its time to go, its the last time you'll see my message. Bye.

Session Start: Wednesday, October 24, 2007
♠~♥~☠ ♀~Th3 EnD™~♀ ☠ ♠~♥~ᇅ -I walked under the rain&i looked up into the sky givin a vague smile.Gah!i can't get u out of my mind
♫♣:[>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋŧ^кїļļă™»-ride for life, thug luv till we die- killabeeCREW-moodless.killafornia(ci)爱♣♫

(1:54 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
hey~
(1:54 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
if you know that i care for you, then why want me outta your life?
(1:54 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
i juz cant take it wei..
(1:54 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
it happened like, a blink of an eye..
(1:55 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
lemme tell you why everything just wont work out
(1:56 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
one, lets say if me and you seriously work things out, things wont be easy cuz in my mind, there she is! i cant be with you when my mind is thinking of someone else ..
(1:56 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
2nd, the distance between me and you is like, far apart!
(1:56 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
haihz~
(1:57 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
you'll leave me again and i'll pray that you'll come back again but this time, we're frens..
(1:57 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
make sure we dun play with da lil fire!
(1:57 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
WE both happy?
(1:57 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
well, i'm not happy as you think i am now~
(1:57 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
i just lost a close close close gal fren of mine yesterday~
(1:58 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
just one phrase, everything changed!
(1:58 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
you want me outta your life so that you could forget me?
(1:58 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
if its like dat, then why in da first place, you got that younger guy as your bf?
(1:59 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
its kinda cheating on yourself rite? and i suppose you know how it felt to be cheating on your ownself when there is another guy on your mind that time..
(2:01 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
wats with this phrase, "Just before i want you totally out of my life"??
(2:01 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
hey!
(2:01 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
even iif you want me outta your life, i dun want wei!
(2:02 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
i don want!
(2:02 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
understand?
(2:03 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
why cant just let everything flows by it own?
(2:03 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
why you juz gotta stop everything?
(2:05 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
btw, i still owe you da biggest lollipop~
(2:05 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
gotta keep my words..
(2:05 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
one fine day i'll meet you up to pass you the lollipop..
(2:06 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
maybe after your finals..~
(2:06 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
during christmas shopping?
(2:06 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
i dunno but will..!!
(2:06 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
btw, i'm going to malacca this saturday..
(2:06 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
you need anything from there?
(2:07 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
if you do, hit me a offline msg k..!!
(2:11 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
one more thing, good luck for your papers later..
(2:11 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
and, i miss yea!
(2:11 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
-dead-
(2:24 AM) ♠~♥~☠ ♀~Th3 EnD™:
I know things won't work out, i know it all along but i was stupid enough to let myself fall. Don't you just get it i don't want it to happen anymore. Sometimes something is just beyond control. Even if we don't play with fire the feeling is there, it existed all this while. Whats wif me and my ex now I didn't brk up of him coz of you, honestly i didn't. I want to stop everything because i can't handle it anymore.. things aren't going to work out. Its a fact!
(2:27 AM) ♫♣>~♀♂˜«ŝĩļĕŋ:
yeah, i know things wont work out but that doesn't mean i gotta be outta your life rite? i still want you in my life as smeone who is close to me y'knoe!


ARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why even bother answering him. why even bother replying his message. Why when i say its the last message yet i replied. WHY evelyn! you know very well what he say he'll do kinda guy. You know you should leave him from the start. You know this day will come. Yet you was just stupid enuf to............. GAH!!!

Its the first day without you. Its 2 days till exams are over. It is 2-3 more weeks till holidays are here. 2 weeks till open day. It is 5 months till i am 17. It is almost 1 year till SPM is here. I screwed up chem paper 1. All the answers is so fucking close. I tried my best to pick the best, but i doubt the best was really the answer. KILLME.

Even if it is only 1 day and 13 hours without you it felt like a year. Why 3 months felt like 3 years. I shall let god decide things from now..... if it rains by 12am today....... then.......

haih~ the sun was shining!!! please don't rain... don't.................... just don't... how much my heart wants it to be different.. i still don't want it to rain...
I hate you for keeping all your promises. I don't want you to keep your promises. I don't want the biggest lolipop anymore. I want to send my simcard to the dump site. I want to delete and block you off msn. I want to block you from fs. I want to treat you like a stranger. I don't want you to be my stupid 'hunny buns' anymore. I don't want to be your 'sweetie' either... I hate tearing my own heart apart,but i don't want you to do it so i had to... i hate shattering my own illusions. Next years mooncake festival i'll remember you, next year merdeka i'll remember you exist, this year christmas i'll take my phone and type a message to you yet i won't send it. I want to delete your number away from my phone. I want you to be a complete stranger! someone i've never met before. BUT I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT.

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you.

i thought by typing 100times i hateyou will seriously get you out of my mind. It didn't work this time...

please stop torturing my life. I beg you.
Please stop sending me messages telling me you miss me, and how hard is it that now you have me out of your life.
I can't help it that i miss you too, i had to switch on my phone and read those heart breaking messages yet i can't reply. "Hey, i missed you too hunny."
Please stop making me cry.
Please just stop.
Please stop regretting over what you picked.
You picked her over me. Which i think i'll do the same if i were you.
One is almost 3 years and another one is only 3 months.
I can see the difference, i don't blame..
Just please don't make me suffer.....
I really don't know when i'll call you and start crying.
Trust me, i can make you leave her and be with me. I just don't want to...
Its no use if i had to make you leave her when you don't want to.
No matter how many thousand times i say sorry, it won't replace the pain we are going thru now.
No matter how many times you say i love you now it won't bring everything back together.

Asking for my phone number the day you met me was already a mistake. Telling me you had a crush on me is another mistake. Loving me is the biggest mistake.

Hey its already been 16 hours.
I still wonder if you'd miss me because i'm already missing you.
I can't ring you up, i can't sms, i can't talk to you, i can't leave you any messages.
It is just so hard...

Fate stay night.

This anime is so like us. We'll still have to go alone altough everything is cleared. After all those tears and laughters... we'll still be apart. Its like you are from the past and i'm from the future. We cannot be together. Or maybe you're just too stubborn and to afraid to take the risk.
Honestly, i am afraid to but i'm daring to take the risk because then i'll have something to tell myself. I took the courage to actually try it, even if it doesn't work it won't matter.

"Believe yourself eventhough all men doubt you"
"but put allowance for their doubts too"

You remember my favourite song, you know the time i sleep and wake, you are always there with me, you cared about me, you mess with me, you give in to me, you'll call me sweetie....

Nothing have yet to start and it all came to an end. It is a pity. As long as i have this word i'll be happy enuf.

I love you.

This is all i wanted to know all this while. I finally have you admitting it. I'm happy with that but..... its going to be the end of you and me.

I know you so well that i have half your family members phone number too, i know you too deep that i need to let you go to stop hurting myself, my heart broke with everyword i told you this morning and just now. Your heart was broken into 2 pieces.. mine was like glass.. so fragile that it scattered. How much it is scattered, there was a feeling that i don't want you to pick it up and stick it back anymore.


*screwed up, one by one! you left me unexplainable~

Yes. You screwed up everything! you screwed us up real bad. Hey, everyone's gonna start walking out of your life if you continue staying being stubborn. You know something that takes a miracle to happen, and you still wish for it. I understand now why you ask me to wait for you.... 5 years? Maybe i'll not. Mel, let me tell you this. You are so selfish. All you think about is yourself. What if she really comes back to you. What'll happen to me then? Won't everything be worst. Till then i'll probably slap you and never talk to you again. It really is better that i do it now... at least we'll still have each other

The rain really is telling something.
Maybe we just have to be apart.
The fate in us is just not enuf.
We were suppose to meet 2 years back.
However we only ended up with each other this year.
Its fate that brought us together and its my pick to leave you.
My head hurts when i think of you.
Its just the end of you and me.
I'm sorry that i will not pick up your calls nor answer to your sms-es anymore.
I just can't bare to have you with me and not falling for you.
I know i can't love you.
Please don't be selfish, you know if we continue you won't be the one feeling the pain.
I will be the one.
It is best if i end it now.
We both carry some pain and get it over with ASAP.
I am not that important to you afterall. Honestly you don't need to care about me, even if i'm dead.
I want to be someone you regret forever. I'm sorry, i'm just being selfish. I am self centered.
At least let me leave something on you although i can't be with you. I promise you will have a place in my memory. Maybe not in first place but its definetly second. I know i will be your second too, i know who is your first...
I am sorry if you want to call me childish go ahead. At the end you will know i am not.
Even if we are still friends, having me avoid you... you'll still feel descriminated. Why the trouble when we can end everything just like this.
Maybe some day later i'll meet you around the streets, then we can truly be friends again.

" treat you like my bestfriend, or maybe something closer."
"don't you understand? i want you but i can't have you!"

Ys i understand mr selfish. I really do.
It is still you being a stupid fool. Always looking for the past yet not the future. I guess you are right. Maybe you just can't have me anymore because i'm moving on with my life without you in it! You can stay there forever. Hugging your stupid past that you love so much. It is your weakness yet your strength. Well, at least i am assured to have you hold on to me as your memory forever. I'm glad i picked to leave. When the sun can finally shine out, it means that i won't move back to be with you anymore. I'm too tired of waiting, too tired of hopingm, too tired for drawing the picture, and lastly. Goodbye.

"It takes more than loving each other to be together"

I find that stupid.

Its exactly an hour without you with me.

You are still waiting for her. And you love me. This 2 sentence is enough to end everything between us. I'm sorry over the complications that i've caused...i want you out of my life.

It rained when i sent you that messaged. Exactly the time when i sent you that. How much it hurts, i think i need to move out of your life. You want me but you can't have me. After all we've been thru...

I seriously don't know what more i can say..

Early morning when i wake up, i'll no longer hear your voice.
I'll no longer be waiting for your messages.
I'll no longer see your face.
I'll no longer have the chance to hear you tease me.
I'll no longer get hugs,kisses,loves, and loli's from you.
I'll no longer have any offline messages. Being online will bring no meaning anymore.
When i break down, you won't be there for me anymore.
I won't have you hold my hands anymore.
I won't have you piggy back me again.
I won't have you to hug me.
I won't have you in my dreams..
I'll no longer be your alarm.
I won't have you telling me where you are.
I won't have the chance to scold you.
I won't have the chance to even say goodbye.
No more -dead-
No more -rip-

As short, as we've known each other.. it has been real deep. The cut is so deep. I'm sorry but i just don't want to wait anymore. I love you.
Although you won't be reading it. I just wanted to say I loved you.

"as long as i know, you did love me... its enough"

I was surprised when you told me you remembered my handphone number... you said it out damn fast! haha i doubt you and you said. What?!?!?! wrong? Impossible! Correct lar! hahaha~ When you asked if i remember yours, i just shut up and kept quiet. You know i don't. =)

"You must remember my number!!!"
"if anything you must call me! remember that!"
"hun~ anything important i'll dial triple 9 lar. (999) handphone has your number! =)"

Hahaha!!! well, i just have to be bad lar kan~ you know me. Don't ask me anymore what dream it was i had about you. You know mine and yours are exactly the same.... although both idiots hate admitting. Its weird but its true. I know you wanted to make sure... but hey, the magic will only happen when we don't tell each other... trust me with that.

Okay, okay! second commandment! not telling omg anymore.... T.T had enuf of scoldings from you dy. Haha you teach me, because omg can't be used fuck can be. Hahaha~
Yay! blame you, blame you, blame you! =P

I don't know if this directions is going the right way. We are both walking blindly towards it. I am worried to FYI, but i think everything covers my worries. I have no idea why. Distance might be a prob, but you know what.. if we really are commited to each other, it doesn't matter. Look at our r/lship, it lasted. How much we argue, we give in to each other, ends up saying sorry together. You know what? yesterday was actually our 3rd month aniversary. Well, because of me looking at the November dates, i didn't realize. Damn dumb. I can't wait for our 12th. =)

"everything started from scratch, even us"

Its raining since yesterday night... until this morning.. do you remember what we said? if i love you it'll rain. Its just so funny that it all comes back to us.

I didn't know today was 22nd. I still thought it was 20th all thanks to my mum for putting the calender to November. 9 Days till this month ends. 4 Days till my exams are over. & about 2 weeks more till open day. The news that i don't wanna hear will be there.... 2 weeks waiting for results is crap. I screwed up all my sciences. I screwed up all my math papers. I screwed up my languages. Basically i screwed everything. Congratulations Evelyn! I'll try not to sit at one corner and start crying like an idiot over the efforts that i put in but A's are just too hard to get. Too far to be achievable. In fact i think i have to praise myself because i only picked up books after my mid terms. I'll pray hard not to fail... but i think i'll still fail chem. I know nuts on that paper. Honestly!

I screwed bio today. My brain is just so fucked up. I was so freaking stressed, i imagined the paper was going to be freaking hard. I can't sleep at all! not at all! basically yesterday i didn't sleep. My brain is just thinking of . Oh shit, i'm gonna screw everything up tmr. Early morning it started with EST paper.. I was like running for time to catch 30 min of nap. I did the paper in like 20 min. It was quite okay.. and i tried to sleep. I couldn't.... all i knoe is. Oh crap, bio... i am not ready... i am not..... eventhough i read everything but i'm so scared that when the paper come it'll be like missing! HAIH~ then pj... i basically tembak-ed a few lar. Thanks to Tarsh's text book i can answer most of it & thanks to paying attention in Pn. Norinda's class. =D
So i was still rushing like idiot, finised in 20 min time also. Wanted to sleep... i slept awhile... 5 min i guess. Then it was time. Went recess grab something to eat coz having slight gastric dy. Went back up start to chew on my bio book. When the bio paper reached.... i looked at the back, it was fairly okay.. i can still answer the essays, but when i turn to the front. Its just crap. Total shit. I answered the ones i could.. and i just went empty.. my brains can't think anymore.. i think i fell asleep on the table without knowing.... gosh! the feeling was so good! because i finally screwed up the last science paper i have no worries anymore. I can sleep. -.- I woke up there was still like 30 min's left so i fill in those empty spaces i left with bullshit answers. Just to make the paper look nice and answered. SIGH. Then during the 10 min i was like dead.. i can barely take up my hands anymore.. my head was falling eventhough i am sitting. Imagine how bad was that!

I realize that i'm no longer care free like i used to be. I normally won't even give a damn about exams. Now i do. Its foolish... everything is just so fucked up. Nightmares sucks. Even when you sleep you think of memorizing facts.. and when you can't think of your facts back up you panic and run to a book and read up again, end up you won't even sleep. This is how bad my night was.

Mrs soo told us, next year you all tuition monday kay? because ryte wed is for form 4 students.
I nearly asked her har? then why we go monday? O.O"

I am form 5 next year. I am sitting for SPM. I'm about to take a journey to get out of highschool. I finally can get out of the school that i used to hate so bad. Thinking back, it wasn't so bad after all. I learnt alot there, more than anyone did... Next year it'll be streaming. 2 more weeks till we are all seperated to be in a diff class once again.. to not be as close as we used to... 4 SB will definetly be the best class i've ever been throughout my SA life. The teachers are perfect, my classmates are perfect, my buddies are more than perfect. I love 4SB. I'll miss it like hell.

Form 5. 17. when i was young.. i've always wish to be at the age of 17.. now that i'm about to step into that age its like.... a dream. It all still seems that it is the starting of form 4. Without knowing New Year is 2 months away. 2007, will be 2008. All that is left will be memories.

I know you love me. I know you do. Hate you for not admitting. Hate myself for not admitting either.

You know, the way we talk is so cute, so fun.. filled with laughters? You always give stupid examples hinting to me you love me, and i'm always bad enough to pretend stupid. I hate it that we both are of the same kind.ego. You said its not fair for the person that is waiting for you like the one over the phone, that you don't give a chance to? it shows so much, you did it for me.

We went one big round.. and its still back to square one. Us. You wonder when i'll get another bf huh? You wanna be mine eh? xP haha we even talked about marriage. Its so funny i tell you. I hugging the wood! not letting it go. Haha! damn stupid. We both are big fools. Stupid fools.

BIG IF~ yar ryte. BIGGGG IF. But we know we wanted the IF to actually come true. Sigh.

Oh My God! i need to blog this...

He is a stupid fucker, idiot, moron, loser, asshole, bullshitter!!! i hate him.

He called. HE CALLED. KIASU ASS actually CALLED me.
it is so unusual that he'll call. I mean okay.. he always calls me last time coz... he... okay you know why... then it stopped coz... you know why too. I mean i know why lar!

Him: "hey, wake up dy?..."
Me: "no... baru ny wanna sleep"
Him : Har? sleep now? wht time gonna wake later?
Me : "10.30pm i guess."
Him: then what time you going out?
Me : going out where?
*pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof*
Phone no battery....

ding dong* You have 3 miss calls from 03-********

He's calling*
Me : omg so sry.. phone no battery.
Him: i guessed as much. Yar what time you going out dinner later?
Me: Eat dinner dy lor~ sis needa go back malacca so had dinner early.
Him: owh, i see.. you dun wanna wake up?
Me : just ny started to sleep. Just now bath den dinner liao~
Him: you sound so blur wei. *exhaleesssss*
*silence*
Me : hehe~ izit..
Him: yar~ i'll call you later okay? 10.30pm to wake you?
Me: why ar?
Him: wanna kacau you. hehe.
Me : Wanna kacau or you miss me?
*a looooooooongggg pause...*
Me: miss me izit??? O.O""
Him: hmmmm....................... (yes or no lar loser!)
Me: Okay lar~ you going college now kan?
Him: yar. Going meet chics.haha.
Me: isit? i see...
*in a soft tune*
Him: no lar~ go group study.
Me: Okay ler~ you go bah. ^^
Him: Just now at msn you said.....
Me: hmm? i said wht?
Him: erhm.. nvm lar you sound so blur.. i talk to you later okay?
Me: okay then~ bubye~~
Him : bye...

idiot,loser, he can't spill it out can he? can't he let me sleep peacefully? he is such an idiot!!!!!!!! gahhhhhh~~~~~ just now at msn wht! wht izit you wanted to ask or tell!!!!! you are an idiot you knowwwwwwwwwwww!~!

I HATE YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!
WHYYYYYY!!!!!~~!!!!!~~~!!!@@@!!~~!!@@@!@##@)(*&(#$^&@

* i am so sry i lost control *

I've never come across a guy that knows me this well.

My sub-nick. [ i love you, but you just don't know ]

Him: supp wif your subnick? [ i love you, but you just don't know ]
Me: nothing ar. Why ask?
Him : wanna pat abit marh.
Me : I simply ny put.
Him: Its about someone ryte?
Me: No. Its random. Serious.
Him : Yap Evelyn spit it out. Who is it?
Me: RANDOOOOOMMMM!!!! its just something random. Honestly!

(when i say honestly never trust me xD)

*after a very long chat*
He suddenly said.

Him: kay go sleep lar. & wish.
Me: Wish? huh? wht nonsense you talking now?
Him: wish for me to love you. [ i love you, but you just don't know ]
Me : har?? (pretending of course)
Him : Its me ryte?
Me: wht??!??! what is you? why would i wanna wish for you to love me? *i wanted to say y wish, i already know you do*
Him: Nevermind! question answered!
Me: gosh! pleaseeeeeee lar~~ don't assume. It is random. RANDOM.
Him: i seriously need to get you drunk one day.
Me: wht for? rape me? hahahahaahahaha~!
Him: =.= whu wanna rape you? give me free pun tak nak. jk, if you are drunk you'll answer everything i ask you. I want the truth from you!
Me: wht! i very bad izit now? Lets see who gets drunk first.
Him : we shall see. Then i'll know what you are thinking.
Me: nvm i'll act drunk and tell you all lies! yipeee so smart! haha then i'll make you drunk and ask the truth from you. =D
Him: You try to get me drunk lar. I'll be like some dead body! sleeping~! haha
Me: yar, very gud idea~ can kick you to sleep out the streets.
Him: then you can sleep with me if you want or sleep on the floor. Dun wan lar sleep on the floor alone cold!~ haha can come up and sleep wif me.
Me : No.,no,no i'll be sleeping on bed! no worries. You'll be out at the streets!~! haha!
Him: so bad... nvm its okay!

Shut this telepathyyyyyyy~~~~~~~ he knows.......................... everything. So wht? i know everything too =D

Anyway nick changed. [ pros and cons for lovin ueeee ]
[ I know you love me too. So shut it. ]

Now he'll just keep his mouth shut. mwhhahahaahah~

Dear diary,

I wanted to send him this..

Hey, do you remember how we both met? The hug you gave me? Your hands one mine? I don't care how much you don't want to admit this, but i am so over it. Yes, i admit i do love you. You can lie to yourself and say how much you don't love me. You can lay out as many facts as you want, but deep down.. ask yourself truthfully did i took over her place? We both know the answer. I was the one that you are thinking of, i was the one that made you emotional, i was the one you cared about. Maybe you still don't realize or maybe you just don't want to admit.. but i can see even the way you speak is different. Being with you is so special... because you know me so well, we won't run out of topics to talk about. We can chat for hours and laugh like maniacs. You are a guy that is full with bullshits, but you can make me laugh just the way i am. You hate yourself for breaking a promise, and for loving me. I hate myself for letting us fall for each other. I am sorry. If you still want to hide everything go ahead, please treat like you've never read this.. or just laugh over it then get it deleted.

But i didn't. I just can't..... I can't be selfish....
[SIGH]

Yesterday was Charl's Birthday Party. It was so fun!! =D we all had a great time there. I'll get to the details ASAP probably till my x'ams are over. Sigh i haven't studied for bio. I'm gonna die~ had been procrastinating since like look back at my past post. Since the time i said i need to study. LoL! thats A looooooooooooong time ago. Yes it is.

I'm suppose to be studying ryte now. But i'm taking a break to actually blog. What am i? damn gotta give myself some smackings already. Seems like i'm already on holiday mood. Plus knowing that my chances of getting into the class i wanted is like Less than 10%? so yeah~ screw everything~ screw exams. I am so over it. I want to get it over and done with. Other schools are already on hols because their exams are over. But we? SA-ians have to suffer. How pathetic is that?

SIGH.

I dreamt about him. I mean HIM! its impossible. We telepathed? wth is that. He told me he dreamt of me too. I was like.. crap! Hell, once again i'm falling into something i shouldn't. I have no idea why i want him so much. I realize now, its not about looks but its about the heart. He suddenly went on crapping just now, asking me...

Him : i wanna go make milo. Wait for me k. I'm hungry... wait for me!
Me : dwn~ haha dun wait for you =P
Him: Then i'll stay here and starve to death. I'll wait for the reaper/ripper to come take me.
Me: O.O" siao ar? go lar go lar i'll wait for you wan lar. okay? (i'm giving in to him because of certain issues he's having -.-)
Him: Okay~ wait~ let me ask again. Will you wait for me?
Me : O.O' okay i'll wait~ now shoo~ go~
Him : What if i were to go for 5 years? will you wait for me?

*seriously i was stunned*

Me : Maybeeeeeee....
Me : Not.

*of course it wasn't what my heart says.* My heart don't really tally with my words. Sigh.

Kill me! right now! seriously kill me!

Him:If we were magnets I'll be south you'll be north! =)
Me:Why?
Him: Because then we'll get pulled together.
Me : dun want! lets be south south =)
Him : Can also, then i won't be pulled by you.

O.O" what is he attempting to do?

Him: call me! i dun care~ got anything just call me okay??
Me : what for? dun waste my credit.
Him: call someone that cares for you also waste your credit lar now?
Me : if you care for me, you'd call me. =)
Him : my credit left rm 1 larr~ woi! hear me not! call me okay?
Me : see larr~ my maxis credit low lar~
Him : use digi~ call my bro phone kay? i'll take his phone xP
Me : dun be evil always bully your lil bro lar~ k lar~ cal you when i'm abt to sleep k.
Him: okay! i need to go breakfast wif parents tmr.
Me : be your alarm again ar? sian~
Him : hehe, yup my alarm.

=.=" I am not your maid. Don't ask me to cook for you too.

Him: I'm hungry!
Me: go cook food yourself.
Him : you cook for me lar, learn how to be my wifey.
Me : can also, i cook.. den i make sure i burn everything and i'll force you eat it all. ^^
Him : damn~ you are so mean.
Me : thank you. I admit, i am.

I am not your wifey. O.O'

Haih~ damn! damn! damn! damn! our flirting went way overboard~
Hugiess and kissy's are like never something he'll forget to do daily. It'll be either laying at my inbox. An offline message. Or wtv it is. It is jst there. Eventhough rejected he'll put it there. Oh no, this is bad. A bad sign. A bad dream. A bad everything...............

Nooooooooooooooo~~~~~~~!!!! it can't be him.
It will be the biggest joke of the year like i said.
To him it'll be the biggest joke of the millenium.

I never liked ego guys. He is one. But why i liked him... the feeling is growing stronger. I hate this telapathy thingy... its like i can feel him thinking of me and i he can feel me thinking of him. Worst of all he'd ask!

I know you miss me. ^^
You miss me ryte?
Don't lie, i know you did.

SHIT!

Every tom dick and harry that thinks online relationship is cool. Please get a life. It seriously ain't cool to get committed with a guy you haven't even meet before. In other words it is called desperate. To those little kiddy's that submit their "OH so called cute" picture at this stupid club for fame please take a mirror. What makes you pretty ain't your face but the way you put your camera, something called the magic of "angle". I really wonder how can people sustain online relationship the most they do is just text each other. Hello? you call that love? If yes, dip your head into a pile of cold water and wake yourself up. Girls out there, you can still LIVE without a guy.

Teenagers, especially those that can't wait to have sex, do think of the pros and cons before you act. Its like 1 hour pleasure & pain for life. FOR LIFE. (BOLD,HIGLIGHTED,ENLARGED) For me I'd rather pick enjoyment for life over that 1 hour of pleasure. Plus it might not be pleasurable after all. Who knows he might not be the man of your life. Oh and boys, don't think you are so safe. Having sex with an underage girl whether she's willing or not, its considered rape. So if you seriously want to spend the rest of your life being in a juvenile go ahead! Have anyone ever thought of STD before they get down to something? Sexual Transmitted Disease. HIV, AIDS, and the list goes. Maybe luck comes your way that day. Then good luck! Although condoms do prevent certain diseases. Mind you its CERTAIN. You never know if your partner is a player. Condoms? for some guys that word don't even exist.

It is really stupid for certain people that does "it" and announce out not knowing what is called "shame". To them its fame. Fame? *laughter's* i look down on people like this. To me they don't really use their brains. Not forgetting those beasts, like what the papers say you can't call them animals because animals are very protective over their children. They should be called beasts rather. For god's sake, they are children - little kids with innocent mind that knows nothing. Some even is your own creation how can anyone possibly do that? those beastly acts. *shakes head*

Somehow i think parents shouldn't be blamed, its their kids instead. All this while i think Malaysia failed in sex education. So much is exposed in school, media, everywhere. Yet it gives those teenagers of a want to try it out , putting all the knowledge down the drain. Teens as young as 13 have already lost their virginity. Some raped, mostly gave it away willingly. Based on real stories it always happens at their own house when parents aren't around. There's always this thing on my mind that what if any of their parents came home and opened the door. One word they never think of the consequences at all. "The work of some, puts the rest to shame."

Doesn't this ever come across any one's mind that sex isn't everything? To me, if a guy really loves a girl he'll never ask for sex. For me 24 hours seriously ain't enough. How come there are still so many jerks looking for cybersex? Do get real. The name already says. Cybersex YOU TALK and YOU DON'T do. You get aroused then you go rape some girl you find. How stupid is that? Ain't it better to go get a prostitute? no money? hey! work your way up, get rich then any girl you want you'll get it. Porn. Yes i agree everyone watches it. My teacher once told never to trust all this things because it is exaggerated. I agreed with it. Come on, tell me who would actually tape a video when they are having sex? is it so that other people can enjoy how sexy her wife or husband is? Porn is just to get cash from you people. I'm sure you don't need a 16 year old to tell you that!

I'm so sorry if anyone comes about my post and finds it offensive. It is a fact that all of us should face. It is something we "malaysians" should fix. I have no idea why i suddenly come about this, its a random thing. Well, half of the things i said(typed) is based on true stories believe it or not, i'll leave that for you ladies & gentlements.

-xoxo-
~Ev3Lyn~

This is so weird.

Him : wow! suddenly i felt so special to you. =D
Me : why? O.O"
Him : dunno.
Me : O.O""
Him : ???
Me : You know what.
Him : What??
Me : i hate you.
Him : I love you. muaaaxxxkkkkkkxxxx!
Me : I said i hate you!
Him : I said i love you. I love love love love love you.
Me : I hate you alot! okay i wanna go sleep already.
Him : Woot? so fast? okay then, nitess sweetiiee. Muaxks! lurvess~ dream of me!
Me : Yeah tired, wanna study later. Hate you still.
Him : =D i love you more. why you hate me btw?
Me : Hating you for no reason. Cannot izit? hate you alorrttt!
Him : Sigh* sakit hati ready~
Me : Good! i'm happy to hear that =)
Him: Don't like this lar~ come give me some kisses before you go to sleep.
Me : *slap* on your face.
Him : Ouch! dear pain larrrr~~ so how? sayang back ryte? *gives you back ma face*
Me : *kik* shoo off~ i wanna sleep dun disturb! *shoe stain on face*
Him: haha~ okay lar~ you go sleep ler~ i sakit hati ready. T.T
Me : hate you! nitess~~
Him : say all you want that you hate me, as long as i know deep down in you... deep in your heart you love me alot'.

~~~~~~~~ speechless ~~~~~~~~

i want gathering!!!!!!!!!! kayteee gathering is so on during November!! any kt-ians that reads my blog can join in the organizing team!!! =D

I miss all of them freaking lot!!! when we meet up it'll just be like the olden days how we used to mess each other up!

As i listen to this song..... i swim back to the past...

I remembered how i met all of them.. May Chin, Kein Yi, Zhen Jie, Li Guan, Kah Jin, Boo Chong, Hong Sang, Hui Wen, Chee Hau, Chee Sing, Calvin, Kah Chun, Chong Lin, Sai B aka Mun Loong, Daniel, Wei Kean, Charan, Chan Yee, Melissa, Aaron, and many more. I still remembered when i first step into edu smart.. so lost, i met Mel and Charan. We became close friends. So freaking close that we'd share anything together. I miss her... i miss Charan so damn much. How i met her cousin Cash.

How she used to complain about school. How we sit together, how i defend her from daniel. How i met daniel... how i fought with him since the day we've met... & how i fell in love with him... How the courtship went. How i find out about his background. The background that he had been hiding from me. I still remember how he used to piggy back me when i jump on him... how i used to pull his hair when he tries to tickle me... how he used to carry my bag and can clearly see his tummy bulging out. I still remembered when my chair accidentally ran over his legs. He didn't scold me.. he just smiled and say its okay. How he used to help me in answering questions. How he used to compare my science marks... Having his huge hands over mine, always complaining how cold my hands are... His strong shoulders for me... Meeting him 3 times a week, was reduced to 2, soon it was only once.... we started to drift... He'd still call during the hols, i'd be too occupied with other ppl that i'd forget him. Its been a year now since we've met. Exactly one year, and i do miss him.

Sometimes i wished time can just stop there. Those happy times i had together with him. Wating for his presence... waiting for the door to open and see his face there. I remembered how we used to get teased being together. He'd always ask for sweets. He always try to sit with me. Always annoys me, but everything just seeemed empty when he isn't there anymore... i miss him annoying me.. i want him back. But its all not going to happen anymore. Not anymore. I miss ky. Miss him so much. I like those lame jokes he tells me... those late nite sms-es. I miss zj, miss him playing pranks on me. I miss lg, miss him being there for me when i need him. I miss kj, as my best friends bf. I miss mc, i miss her talkings... i miss mun loong telling me he love me. I miss boo boo bear. I miss calvin.

I never regretted meeting them. The time that i most enjoy is being with all of them. Those really happy memories. Until all of them fell apart & i went away to persue my dreams. It all just drop apart. All of us leaving in a different ways. I wonder when it'll be the time for us all to get back together and talk like last time. Laugh together and be together.

Till then i will always miss all of you.

"I'll pray for all of you to be in a pink of health, and cherrished with lotsa loves.. & never be sad about anything. I'll be there as long as you want me too. My cell is always on."

you were the first one to move my heart in such short time.
Why do you have to say sorry? sorry for the things you hadn't done. How close do i wanna be with you? you know my answer. I've already taken over her place in your heart. I say that you have to queue to have me... but if you'd really ask i'll put you in 1st place. I said it was a limited edition, but i gave it to you. You said its really expensive, yet i have it.

This horoscope, pisces have 6th sense in love. Both of us have this special ability. Making both of us ego. Ego to admit anything because we can both feel it. You hinted once, but you took it back. I found out your reason... i let you go. I thought i did, but i didn't. Not once not twice, not at all. You told me yesterday it wasn't about her but it was something else. You like keeping me hanging. You get worried when i don't reply your messages. Just like how i got worried of you. The day we've met. Its just so much fun, laughter.... and everything.

I wanted to say this to you......

I Love You.

there is something so wrong... very very wrong. He is hiding something from me.. i know it. Its something i wanted to hear since day 1.... it really is... i can feel it. Why isn't he telling. why... he is still him.. everything worries him. Something that made me hate him so damn much. Something i thought i realy put down long ago. I didn't think i'd done it.

Something bothers you? well... something bothers me too.I'm afraid it'll be wrong this time too. i'm scared... my 6th sense had never went wrong with anyone else. Your the exceptionate. Yet now i'm really thinking if you're lying back then.

* **** **** ***
* **** **** ****
* **** **** *****
* **** ***
* **** ***

i don't know what i am thinking... why is evrything so confusing? why??? i don't completly trust you either.

Joyce really needs some smacking for provoking me like half the time! -.-

Oh Great! finally mel has the time to layan his long forgotten friend here.

Cow: miss calls you after a long time.
Me : wah! finally got the time to layan me lar?
Cow:*replied at 1am.... * wat now ny layan you? my internet connection can't connect till now wei or else, can get you as my gf dy lor. Sorry for da late reply was futsalling just now.
Me: *slept* O.O""" 1am??!?!? siao~ i sleep edy lar! so how's futsalling?
Cow: Good afternoon. I just woke up from my sleep. So how are you? 3rd day being single like me. Haha!

-.- He seriously likes counting the day of me being single.

Me: I'm more than happy! -.- grrrrr... eating my lunch now hehe =P
Cow: reply damn slow ar you nowadays. Wats wrong wei? hehe.. happy being alone? haihz thats you gal... me too eating over here.
Me: sorry hun, i'm doing something lar.. busy-ing.
Cow: Then you go do your stuffs first la. I'm damn freaking bored till derno wad to do wei. Sienz.
Me : haha! too bad your connection dwn can't help you! but anyway if its back up go try using facebook. Its not bad ^^.
Cow: facebook. college friends like calling me to use it but aahhh, lazy lar want so much of all these accounts derno for what. watcha doing over dere?
Me: baru wanna start studying lor. Shit wei, i've been relaxing like damn lotsa days dy. Gonna die soon.
Cow: Your finals over dy ryte? wats dere to die for btw? Damn the stupid internet connection.. from first day of raya till now can't use! gonna call and screw them!
Me : hun, my finals aren't over yet. -.- haha you call them n screw ler, they surely ask you do damn lotsa stuff before they come n repair it one.
Cow : aiyak, not over yet wan huh? babe wassup wif you and hunny bunny?its damn windy over here. so nice.. gonna rain soon and fuck i can't online damn streamyx!
Me: nuthing's up with me and hunny buns why asking? hahaha hey, pray for the lightning to strike your modem and you can change it, so you'll be able to come online x)
Cow : who's your hunny bunny btw? hehe neways exam next week. gotta sleep now or else, will be sleeping when i'm studying later tonite. lurves~ nitenite
Me : who do you want my hunny buns to be? =) yay! someone teman-ing me tonite!!~~!! i gtg bath now, after that only sleep. Pray that i dun get strike by anything.. if not later i rentung haha!
Cow: hunny buns ar? see see later you call every guy hunny buns wan. if one and only then can be me lor. hehe. shall see you and you shall see me in dreams yea! nitesss.

LOL! stupid mel. our conversation is so freaking stupid i tell you. Damn i miss yapping with him on msn lar! haha! hunny buns not so suitable wei. cow more cute! hahahahaha!!!~~!! seriously if you really observe wad i'm alike wif cow is we like to use btw at the last of the sentence and not everyone understands xP

Haha! yes mel, i'll flirt summore no worries. You were the one that started with it.

I'm feeling guilty i need to studyyyyy!!!! help meeeee!!!

hello blog readers! ^^ long time no blog. Hehe!
Have been gambling like day n nite. I know ryte, how horrible. tsk tsk tsk... i'm suppose to be studying yet i am there gambling.
Hmm... its a promise i have to go study tomorrow already. So you all get ready your ears, I mean eyes to see me blog how horrifying my day can go with BOOKS!

chiao~ lurves~~

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
Oh my god!
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
yup. Most of the,
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
yeah i will.
4. Do you believe that everything happen s for a reason?-
yup.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Liars
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
No idea.
7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Sometimes yes,sometimes no.
8. Is there someone who pops into yourmind at random times?
Of course there is.
9. Would you stop talking to yourfriends because you hooked up with anew person?
Definetly not!
10. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
I forgot O.O"
11. What did the last text message you sent say?
what time?
12. What features do you find mostattractive in the opposite sex?
Apperance.
13. Fill in the blank. I _______you in my life..
want.
14. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Scholarship. 10A1's for spm.
15. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an long period of time who would you call?
My family? O.O"
16. How many kids do you want to have?
Three i guess.
17. Would you make a good parent?
Hopefully.
18. Where was your default picturetaken?
In my room.
19. What's your middle name?
Yap Evelyn. pEve?
20 . Honestly, what's on your mindright now ?
erm... its a secret.
21. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
Letting ****** break up with me.
22. Shoe size?
six
23. What are you wearing right now?
Night gown.
24. Righty or Lefty?-
righty
25. Best place to eat?-
Home.
26. Favorite animal?-
Puppy aka dog

whre's 27 & 28??

29. Favorite juice?
- apple
30. Have you had the chicken pox?
Nope.
31. Have you had a sore throat?
Obviously. I won't be a human if i hadn't.
32. Ever had plastic surgery?-
Nope. I love the way i am although i am fat.
33. Who knows you the best?
myself.
34. Do you get along with your family?-
yup
35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Yeah, glasses.
36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Of course, i have 2 dogs at home.
37. Been to Mexico?
nope. Have you?
38. Did you buy something today?-
neh~ i didn't go shopping.
39. Did you get sick today?
yeah. Coughing slightly.
40. Do you miss someone today?
Had been missing *** since day one.
41. Did you get in a fight with someonetoday?
neh~
42. When is the last time you had a massage?
I hate massage.
43. Last person to lay in your bed?
Me.
44. Last person to see you cry?
got lar kan.
45. What was the last TV show youwatched?
Korean movie
46. What are your plans for theweekend?- s
Study.
47. Who do you think will repost this?
How will i know. I don't predict the future.
48. Are you happy?
Yes, very .. being entertained by caveman xD
49. Who was the last person you hungout with?-
My sisters.

Facebook sucks.

I am super tired. Seriously i think holidays are even more of a torture than the days that i study! But i'd rather have holidays because its so darn fun!!! xP

Damn i'm yawning non-stop. Ugh! tommorow is back to studying! i've been enjoying myself for like so freaking longgggg....

dad seriously pamper my sec sis too much. During Steamboat

Sis2: i want half boiled egg!!!
Sis1: Its so dirty... how to put in and boil?
Mum: yalar! later all want drink the soup.
Sis2: but i want...!!
dad: Find one place to wash it lar.
*walks away washes the eggs*
Sis1: wash edy still dirty one lar. -.-
Sis2 : then nvm lar. T.T
Dad: *calls the waiter* I want boiled water.
Waitress: okay.
*gives my dad the bowl to wash cutlery's with hot water inside*
Dad: O.O" Can add more hot water ar?
Waitress: What you want it for??
Dad: to boil eggs.
Waitress: Okay. =.=""
*Takes more hot water and a plate to cover it.*
Dad: Thank you.
Mum: aiyer... everyone is looking lar.... so shameful
Dad: Got problem one meh? Nevermind lar.
sis1: *shaking her head*
me : speechless
sis 2: smiling coz she can finally eat her EGG.

=.="

So after that, about 10.30pm Aunt reach my house and sleepover xD
We 4 big kiddo's started playing with board games haha!

We played.

1) MAD
2) LIFE
3) Cluedo
4) Mah Jong.

Seriously the MAD game is really mad. The LIFE game was so perfect. We created life story out of it. Haha!

Our dear Fungaline was just this poor graduate with salary of 16k, before she graduates she already started gambling. After she graduated she inherited her parents money but was shared by her aunt. Then she got married with a lesbo. =.=" Already in a very poor state she went on honeymoon and bought 2 horses + 1 house. After that she decided that her life partner was the cause, she divorced her and became "normal". Then she got married to a guy. She born 2 sons after that. Just because of some little arguments with my 2sis she pushed her whole family down the hill. After she's owe the bank so much money, she still went on to buy a luxurious car. So at the end she declared bankruptcy. (this story is based on the board game)

My aunt, LOL! A teacher. she's got 2 sons 1 daughter and she went on adopting 1 more son and daughter. Seems like she doesn't like her kids so much! She always tries to push her kids to some other people.

My 2nd Sis. She was this idiotic rich lawyer. =.= Likes suing revenge from me. Sucking me dry....

Me. A physicist =) I only have 1 son. LOL! Although my pay is not as high as lawyer but still better than a teacher!

The second round we played it. My 1st sis was filthy rich & i'm that poor kid. HAHA! Anyway after that we played cluedo. Played 4 rounds and i won twice x) aunt n 1 sis once. During cluedo we started to...


Each other when we are clueless! haha!
It was obviously my aunts idea.

After cluedo we started to gamble. Played mahjong till 5.30am. Sis was already more than half dead. She was yawning non-stop.

The amount of bad words spoken this morning was uncountable. O.O

I said it. I finally had the courage to.
Asking me to pick between you and my future. You'll obviously lose...
I can't always care about your feelings. I have my own life, my own road to walk. I can't just stop there and wait for you. Maybe we are just not it. I'm sorry. Really really sorry.

LoL.
Guess what! we are going to eat steamboat tonight at Pulau Ketam.

Me : mi, we going where to eat tonite?
Mum : Pulau Ketam.
sis 2 : HAR? Pulau Ketam??? Then what time we need to go?
Mum & Me : *laughed*
sis 2 : what?
MuM : You know where is pulau ketam meh?
sis 2: dunno.. somewhere far?
Mum : haha! you go ask dad.

Pulau Ketam is actually the restaurants name. haha! She's so sensible. =P

Great! navin is back.. he is back, so back.
Why is he back for me?
He wants to ask me out. Why, him... just exactly why. Sigh.
Firstly dan, him another him. Can all of them stop sucking up to me already. I've give you guys more chances than anyone else. You all have been loved by me so much. So much that when it all broke... it broke my heart too. My heart to all of you. Yet hoping it was all just wrong. Hoping that everything can change. I waited....& waited.... unfortunately you all came back after a year. A year of me being hopeless and useless. A year thinking what i've done wrong, but it was you instead.

So you are back now asking us to be friends back? or maybe more? you think its is possible? i'm not sure.

Oh crap! i got this message asking me if i'm Evelyn. I think the guy i saw at mid was seriously him. The number look so alike his!!! I've never bothered to save his number coz i'll always have accidentally deleted all the messages and i'll always be changing to another phone. He just have to come haunt my life again after one year. Don't ask me who it is. You all know him.

SIGH.

I'll stop yapping about the past, well yesterday i went mid again & stupid Mel knoes. So he went wif his sis too but he went the time i left. Such a loser. So anyway it was darn fun! hehe shopppingggggggggg xD

sis : you ar! holiday 11 days not stay at home study... -.-
me: I studied! *giving her the honest look* 1 chapter, yesterday! haha!!! hopefully i remember O.O
sis: yar yar study! your study is BROWSE through!
me : NOOO!!! i remember ADEK x)
sis: THAT ONE SO EASY I ALSO CAN REMEMBER LARRRR!!!

*cough* *cough* you are majoring biotech hor? you derno den sei lor.

After we went shopping we were about to take the elevator down to the parking. So my sis walked the wrong way.

2 sis : why you wanna bang the wall zit?
me : nonono she wanna jump down the building suicide.
both of us : hahahahahahahah!!!

as i laughed i forgot that was the elevator that's going down so i walked futher to the one that's heading upwards instead.

1 sis: hoi! where you going? har laugh at me summore lar! ownself also same -.-
me : eh? here ar.. whops.

mwahaha! sadly my aunt need to work. So we all had fun shopping without missing her =X

argh~~~~~~ stomachacheeeee!!

I finally went to the gardens! haha my sis & aunt didn't ditched me after all =)
So we ate at chili's ^^

hehe! damn full. Ordered lamb shoulders, chicken salad, and desert ( molten chocolate )
Unfortunately...... the waiter forgot to take order for our dessert, thus...

My sister's name became

Fungaline. (fungus + angeline) haha but if you say it in a wrong pronunciation it'll probably sound something nicer! ******lyn whops! i didn't just say it out did i? my apologies! hahahaah!!!!

Well, since the desert took about 45min to come so my sis said, "i think i'm starting to grow mushrooms"

So she decided to change my sec sis's name to

Mundaline

& my sec sis was like... waiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt you forgot her name(points at me) also has lyn at da back!

So aunt say lets call her...

Kulatlin -.-

Seriously waiting makes us all go high.

Btw! your name also got ryn! haha we shall creat something out of it. Hmm, lets see.... mushryn? fungryn? kulatryn? mossyryn?

haha you pick one! =P
okay off to bath~ itchy~
my dirty + smelly(more like stinking) dog just climbed on me... ewwwthhhhhh~

Mum : i went to the gradens to plant flowers!
Sis : Wah! why you so waste use money as nutrients for the flowers?

Do not test my patience. I am unpredictable. Do you think it'll bring you victory? think again!

-random-

yay! i just got ditched by..... who else. My sis of course.
hmppfffffffffffffftttttt.............................

Oh My God! can you believe it! Evelyn finally get out of the house and went grocery shopping!!! Unbelievable!!!!!!!! its like she's been living in a cave for the past weeks!

Okay~ too dramatic. =)
Yeah as i read back my past blog. I found something amusing.Do you remember the toast masters program i went to? haha! the mentors actually said that I'm a very dramatic person! haha!! its real funny. Hmm, thinking back its actually one of the best times spent there. Although it is just two days, it was really fun ya knoe! Despite that they force you to do spontaneous speeches half the time. xD haha i still remembered how wei han annoyed me. That ex-KDU fellar. Yup and julian writing a confession letter to a girl. Damn, is that guy is sweet or what?

* SIGH *

October, November , December.

3 more months then its gonna be January again. I'm really gonna miss this year. This year with plentiful friends that is revolved around me. This year with perfect things. This year i failed my papers. This year i made a turn on my horrible results. This year i was Vice Prez. This year i was chosen as Ketua Kelas. This year i met great friends. This year, i just love it.

All i can do now is to hope. Next year will be even greater! lurvess~~~~