love

is unpredictable

Layout by 16thday ©

Straw-Berriez.BlogSpoT.CoM
As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . .
I will always keep falling in love with you.
Karen Clodfelder-

I have like the worst day of my life ever. Bad luck just seems to surround me today.

1) scholarship ; failure - something expected
2) Bang ppl's car from the back when i edy reach college during jam.
3) Missed test ( redo on friday )
4) Park car and realize NOT ENUF COINS to put parking ticket. ( oni put 2 hr )
5) When i walk halfway to put extra parking ticket i forgot my car keys.
6) I lost my clear folder with my done math assignment inside ; yes i have to redo everything AGAIN
7) My laptop fell. Thank God i have the shock absorber case and my bag is soft (when i am ALREADY HOME! ) ; if not crash harddisk

Like some freaking chainned reaction........... (chemistry)
I am not leaving hse because
The next thing you know i would have tripped and fall and probably end up in hospital ! URGH. you have no idea how my day was like !!! Effing horrid. Blame the luck ~

The one thing that didnt went wrong was my friends, and i was so glad they were there to keep me laughing.

Busy busy busy !!!


Test, assignment , presentation all at one go.

Stress ahhh ~~

Personality Test :D (somehow true)

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Keroppi ! ! ! !

You have no idea how long i took to think of this 'gift'
&
Finally when i have an idea...... ;

I couldn't find a place to buy it. =.=

Yes it took me long to find this green bubbly thing. (VERY LONG) But everything was worth! ; when u liked it ~ :D

* ermmm to be honest i love it too so can u give it back to me ?? puppy eyes * hahaha ~~

Actually there is something tht comes with it ( purple in colour ) ; so you've gotta wait and see it for yrself ! hahaha!

I have no idea why i suddenly thought of blogging abt keroppi ! maybe coz it is too cute lahh. I shall call it baby keroppiiii *sounds even cuter* ; just like me ! xP

PS : although tht cute thing destroyed yr image even more. =D

I've turned 18 on 18/03/09 ~~!!

I had so much fun on that day lah. Seriously awesome day, and definitely a birthday to remember ^^ & i actually kind of celebrated my bday for 3 days HAHAHA ~~!!

we shall start on the 17th.
So on the 17th there was this someone tht sent me a card :D love it~ !

Then 11.50pm - someone called me and wish my happy bday ~!

18th - 12am sharp. Joycelyn called and wish me happy bday! then followed by a bunch of SMS-es =)

None of my college mates wish me at all. :O

7.30am - Lecturer wished me Happy Bday when i;m attending his class in 10 min time HAHA-

8am - class, no one mentioned my bday AT ALL. pretty obvious they are up to NO GOOD. haha~~

1pm - Ling shin wished me ( told me she couldnt stay up till 12 LOL )

2pm - tricked me to burger king. >.< with my math lecturer waiting for us dere =P and she wished me happy bday. SUPRISE BUSTED.

Chay and KL continue pretending. "EH today yr bday? rly? i dun rmb ! oh happy bday !!!"

But when they were leaving ; to do i don't know wht ~ they ask my lecturer to pay for me. Their suprise totally gone d LOL.

Jhun and Sam came back from "meeting friend" so called- They actually went to buy the cake & i hv no idea how they SNEAKED it in lor.

My other lecturer arrived with chocolates for me :P

Then they pretended to go toilet. and everyone GAY in the toilet lorh ! to light up the candle hahahaha-

And TADAAAA.. they came out with a black forest cake :)

I was suprised a little lahh. But rly bad planning~haha!!

anyways thanks for everything !!

6pm - collect my cake No 2
- granny wish me happy bday :D

7pm - reach home

8pm - reach KL (prince hotel) Buffet dinner :D
Eat and laugh like mad and crazy. hahaha ~~ take pics here and dere

11pm - reach home ~ take bath and all

11.20pm - *things here shud be erased and not to be mentioned*

11.50pm - Cut cake No 2.

19th - LOL! cutting cake No 2
-nobody ate because all too full !

12.30am - SLEPT

PS : privacy violated like crazy ~ whole hse know alrd. wth.
Photos available on FB -

Post express card :O


The card :P& the fake present haha ~~ (it'll be nice if the REAL present is as big& as stacked up as the illustrated one *hint hint* hahaha!!)

It started with ;

1) EHHH wads yr addressss???
(O_O) WHY U WANT IT?! DUN STALK ME...!

2) EVE!!! the card i sent i forgot to write yr name ! omgness why am i so stupid?!
(O____O)""

3) PRIVACY !!!! >.<

After all the panics and hassle, the "parcel" was finally received without privacy violation haha~
=)

Once again, thanks for the lovely card with the nice handwriting on it :P
and the early wish. You've really made my day, since i was actually kinda moody with the assignment that was not done yet HAHA-
And yes i really LIKED it hehe ~~
thanks so much for everything ^^

Ps : you've yet to see your undelivered one :O

Spm is out today,
i cried like shit.

7A's inclusive of 1119 4B's

sucks ~

Everyone seems happy... but i am like super disappointed with myself. >.<

I can't believe all my HARD work didnt pay off AT ALL. Pfft.

But for now...
The chapter of my life says ; BID SCIENCE GOODBYE !
I'm so not spending rm 150 to check the blardy pprs because like my sis say it'll go right down to LONGKANG as soon as u enter college =)

I'm back in happy mood because i couldn't care less. Even if it is shit, it is still mine. Accept the fact and get over it.

PS: crying is definitely the best therapy :D

It is the 11th today, first of all would like to wish Jaya ;

Happy 18th Birthday Honey ! ^^
you're finally legal-
& i misssss ya loads, though we're neighbours we hardly even meet =(

& also welcome back my darling ; Ling SHIN !! You'Re HOMEEE finally !!! x)

19 more hours, Spm results will be released-
part of me wants to see my own results yet another part of me doesn't want to.
Yes tht blardy contradicting feeling you actually have-

No one can actually tell how i feel right now ; unless of course you're me.
Others jst seems so calm, not worried at all.. i dunno why i couldnt even force myself to smile wht not laugh?-

I lost appetite totally. I didnt eat since 2am in the morning yest.

Sometimes i wish i hadn't done well for my trials and forecast, then less hopes will be on me.
Less hopes, less worries..

What if i dun get a shower of A's?
What if it is worst than my forecast?
what if...............

i really don't wanna type what is flowing thru my brains now because it is to terrifying even for myself.

I really want a shoulder to cry on ~

I need the courage in the world to collect my results tmr- courage...
Can i have my parents take it for me? and dun tell me forever?

It rly sucks when the whole world knows you're the one collecting results ;
because if things turned out bad then...
you'll be showered with questions like HOW MANY A's??? when deep down in you dont even wanna answer because it
embarasses.

I feel like a body without soul.

I'm still wondering how am i going to fall asleep tonite...

Taking results is way worst than sitting for the paper ; i'm not ready nor prepared to take the piece of ppr
with alphabets and numbers written side by side.

It sucks even worst when you've had an experience in form 3 ; getting the worst results ever in yr life..
If things isn't bad enough, screwing up college tests when you DID study-

So what if i screwed up my SPM when i DID STUDIED? what if all my hard work doesnt pay off?
What if those sleepless nites, coffee-ing days, sick but still study days didn't pay off at all??

WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

Who will know how much you've suffered?

Even when you sleep you think about history, names after names of historians come out from yr dreams.
A.Math & Math formulas you recite even when you're sleeping.
Moral definitions you stick on every wall u can see in yr room, reading it in the dark while you try to catch
up on the 4 hr of daily sleep.
Quitting all your activities, fav sports jst for the damn test.
8 hours freezing in that effing library.
Praying to God, hoping time will pass slower so that there is more time to do revision.
The nausea you have before the exam.
& those horrible dreams you have at night ; everyone having flying colours, yet.. mine was bad.
What if that dream came true?-

I really can't think of anything else i can do to release my feelings besides typing it all out;;

i still rmb pn leow said to us "do you want to see yrself smiling happily away with yr results slip or crying away?"

Of course everyone wished to be the smiling one, but not everyone will be-

I'm afraid, i really am... so many ppl are taking the results together yet here i am panicking and worrying;
I know i am useless, maybe even hopeless. But failures sometimes bring me too much fear that i couldnt overcome.

My mind keeps asking itself,
do you think you've studied enough for yr spm?
do you think you can manage to get A?
do you think you wrote yr answers long enuf?
do you think you made any careless mistakes?
are 100% sure you've done yr best?

And no was all my answer to the above ;
I'm so freaking worried..

I've been typing for the past 30minutes, ranting and ranting about this all. Yet i am still feeling afraid..

This fear is really fear, it sends shiver to all over yr body. Worst than being afraid that yr deepest secret
being told out- far worst;

Can someone hit me tmr? make me faint so that i won't need to go to the school and see my own results with my
own eyes?

What if i don even get 5 credits?? what if i get kicked out from my foundation course?
What if i lay too high hopes?
What if i failed something?

I dunno why everything i'm thinking is all negative thoughts;;
I wish i could be more positive -

All i can do now is sit down cry and pray to God. Hoping for the best tmr --

As i end this post it will be exactly 18 hours before everything ~
18 more.. jst 18...

The Day We've all been waiting for ~

Currently 14 more hrs-

i wish i could sit down one corner and cry.

Everywhere is plastered, spm results out on 12th- 2 more days;;

I'm afraid, i'm worried, i'm scared.

I may not tell out, but i am still human ; just like you. I have feelings too.

Sigh, seeing everyone putting high hopes on you ; all the smiles on their faces. Can you imagine if things turned out wrong? I'm afraid to dissapoint others & i'm even more afraid to dissapoint myself.

I need someone's shoulder to cry on silently- just that silent moment ; only my cries could be heard and the world around is cut off ;; i need that... just that.
even for 5minutes~

Quoted : " I hurt myself just so I can feel alive ;; because i am numb "

Ways to overcome stalkers.

1) pretend you stay with yr BF's PARENTS
2) talk no-sense (nonsense)
3) Lie all you want =D
& lastly

The stalker will say.. okay i shall not disturb you & your bf. Good luck in everything.
LMAO-

The Grand Conversation

Stalker

where u live in pj?

Joycelyn

sec 14 y?

( behind the scene Joyce : EHH how? wad to say?!?!

Eve : AIYA fake oni la, say walking dist from samad or wtv shit la. LOL ! say near jaya? BU?

Stalker

staying with ur parent or renting?

Joycelyn

staying wif my boyfren n his parents

(behind scene Joyce : EHH i say stay wif bf parents ah?!

Eve : dun need la, say rent hse with the BF =D wakaka-


Stalker

tat's gd otherwise paying 4 rental is high in pj. I stay there previously..

Joycelyn

agreed

(behind scene Joyce : eh how to answer? laughing my ass off d hahaha !!

Eve : tell him 1k one mth ny marh so dam cheap lor! thought you hold high post in company, cannot afford ah? so cheapskate?

Joyce : LOL !!!!!

Stalker

it's nice place since nowadays changes a lot at sec 14 compare to those days when i hang around...

(Behind scene joyce : LOLOLOLOL!!!

Eve : tell him DURHHHHH~~~~~need you to say meh? as if i dunno-

Stalker

I thk u now must be doing revision of your study together with ur bfrd.

Joycelyn

yea

(behind scene Joyce : hahahahaa!!!! cant stop laughing. how to answer now??

Eve : LOL! say
omg yeah
how u know?
we having sex later too!
having sex with him is so fun
&
so shiok - keep exaggarate. He'll b the one deleting u soon =D

Stalker

Catch u some other day as I thk u must concentrate on ur study.. Good luck and all the best...

Joycelyn

thx


This is what happens if you put 2 best friends together, the guy will die out of embarrasment !
Now guys & girls, after the lesson... we are currently all well grommed to make sure stalkers leave based on their own will. HAHA !!

Entertainment of the night when we're suppose to be studying our ass off, how funny is tht?

Every lecturer is mad at us..
from english right up to msian studies.

why?

Because my class never learnt something called ; respect the ones whom are teaching you. They jst make noises over and over again taking all the lecturers for granted-

At least we know when to keep quiet~ but 3/4th of the class doesn't. Yeah i know it sounds pathetic doesn't it?

Ego is something to name after my class. Most with the brains but only little with brains and respect..

5 more days, many more to think and much more to be done.

Should i leave? should i not? -

Reason i should not,
1) i love my lecturers
2) i love my friends
3) money is a problem if i leave.
4) I'm used to the environment there.

Reason i should,
1) I hate the system ; their grading scale sucks
2) I can go to the uni i wanted to go most
3) They have a big campus away frm the city
4) The uni is prestigious
5) if not mistaken they have a better management system
6) if i don't take the chance now i might not be able to leave anymore in the future.

The reasons i should leave might be more, but the reasons i should not leave weights 10x heavier... I will miss every lecturer because we go for lunch together, we talk like friends, we had alot of fun together, some even remembers my birthday even when they have so many students to care for. Friends is another problem.... i don't know if i can survive one day without sam annoying me, without kl swearing, without teasing chayann skinny, without laughing at jhun's slowness, without eugene saying "we are pastor's son wad", without benny teasing me, without julian asking abt driving things, without hiap yew saying "lame lor", without edmond being the 9 yr old, without alex chunted dancing, without cm giving assorted reasons for being late to class.

We are so close that it sometimes seems that we're one big family. Although i am the only girl i seem to fit so well.. we do things together, we see each other everyday, we help each other out, we wake each other up. 3 months maybe too short but it definitely feels long for all of us because everyday we laugh from starting of the day right till the very end of it.

How i wish in life i never have to make any decisions.

TaG...

Eve needs : chocolate for stress relieve !

Eve looks like : an overweight girl =(

Eve says : THE EARLIER THE BETTER!! (spm results)

Eve wants : to punch ppl.

Eve hates : L.I.A.R.s

Eve asks : will it last forever?

Eve likes : ICE CREAMMM!!

Eve eats : anything =)

Eve wears : pretty dresses :O

Eve was arrested for : nothing.

Eve loves : everyone that loves her

I tag nnobody =) do if u want.

I stared up the sky as the rain drizzled down my cheek and wind blowing hard towards my face. At that point i feel everything was away, my mind was empty.. i want that feeling again.
Because for the whole dam day I feel helpless.
My concentration isn't here anymore... partly because i screwed my IT test ; 15/20
should have been more careful..
Another part is ; SPM results.. it is bothering my life. 7 more days,,

I'm still wondering how am i going to concentrate on my assignments and lectures if this continues.

I'm sorry for being moody lately, i tried to control myself but it gets out of hand.
Only SPM students will understand this awful feeling..

influence... am i being influenced?

I suddenly feel the struck of emotions in me..
it hit me hard to think of high school because i miss it badly, sad to say how much i use to hate it...
I miss everyone there, the ones who went thru thick and thin with me throughout that 5 years, the teachers... sigh. I miss walking through the gate every morning.. i miss sleeping in classes.. i miss running to physics class, i miss having Pn Yong forcing me to give her cleanliness report, i miss the pondok, i miss the pond, i miss the labs...

I suddenly feel that friends i know now is so fragile, so easily broken ; no nothing happened between us.. but it just doesnt feel right sometimes, because they've only been with me for few months and my old friends have been with me for 5/6 long years.. they're still the one tht knows me best.. i miss them so much.... so so much.. but now that everyone is far away things seems to be different.. it is like we no longer have that "thing" in us because everyone is so busy catching up with their own lives. It is not until that when you have the free time ; when you slowly sit and think... you'll actually feel it.

I have so many things running through my mind, spm is one of it.. assignments, works, tests, exams.. college life is fun and pathetic at times. I really shouldn't indulge myself in the game.. i shouldn't...