love

is unpredictable

Layout by 16thday ©

Straw-Berriez.BlogSpoT.CoM
As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . .
I will always keep falling in love with you.
Karen Clodfelder-

Today in school we disected
cockroach and fish O.O

i dun feel like blogging.

~THE END~

Okay nvr blog since Friday.
So friday at school was usual dull day....
Then, after school played basketball awhile & then went to ssp.
Gawd was lyk teaching a bunch of monkeys coz their music t'cher went for dat pilihan raya thingy
We can't control da class.
Jia ying was crying damn loud thanks to my darling took this present from some boy & gave it to her.
The guy saw n snatched it back from Jia Ying n she started crying REAL LOUD!
owh infront of me when darling happily gone for tuition.
Seriously i will be the one starting to cry, facing those monkeys any longer.
After all those shoutings me and Azryn ran out of the class! and away!
Phew.
Da next day.
Dad forgot to wake me =.=
I derno y all of a sudden, i jumped up myself
it was 7:10am
i was like WTF!!!!!!!
jump up to change, took my pjae clothes.
Brush teeth n run out.
Camp was fun!! despite the fact dat i slept on da floor coz i was too tired.
I get to meet alort of my juniors.
It was real fun to get to work as a team wif them ^^
I was voted as a grp ldr by all of them juz because i am the eldest there lolrx!
Owh, miss chooi fun read some of my messages n started non-stop. UGH!
Went home at 6pm bath and collapsed on da bed.
7pm, went out for dinner coz it was my second sisters burfday ^^

HAPPY BURFDAY ADELINE! =)

Met Margaret at the restaurant and later met Nicholas Chan too haha! damn i look so ugly dat day summore tie my hair until like puppy! syte! margaret was like staring at me damn damn damn!!

Today Sunday,
Suppose to be studying wei! SHIT!
mum came in da room early in da morning holding some toy dog.
i was like wad??? i asked who's dog izit, for my 1st impression was because dere was a collar.
Then mum was like owh i found it at whre whre where nearly got ran by a car O.O
okayyy...
now its at my home.
in my room.
Juz now was on my bed.
LOL
We named it Milo, still looking for its owner ^^
But anyone interested for a toy dog? its a silky terrier cross breed looks really cute ^^
tell me if u want it! coz i already hv 2 doggies at home.
After dat i went out shopping wif my sis to amcorp den mid valley.
BAD CHOICE i shud have stayed home n study >.<

~off to bed damn tired~

Okay,yesterday ( to be more exact this morning )
Two retarded admited something >.<

I was nearly late to school O.O
reach school time they were like having Doa
Phew, lucky lucky masih sampai kat gate.
School was not like school coz basically no teachers.
The classes were not in their OWN classes
haha!! oni had Chem today xP
Chem was when everyone sleeps in da lab =P
During physics, Mrs Loo shoo us back to da hall to watch some environmental video
Which i wasn't at all paying attention at =)
Infact i was looking at this Form 5 gal dat brought her phone Nokia 5300 n uses it OPENLY even when Mrs Loo is ONLY infront of her.
Lebih-lebih lagi, she even bring a CAMERA wifout slip to school.
wth?

Best gilerr -.-

After skewl me n darl went to tmn aman, trying to figure out add math log
She came up all wif her OWN invented formulas haha!!
chunted!
we got a lil bored n met da uncle coach which is dere daily, so we joined them n play once again =)
6 - 9 years of not playing basketball my skills memang sudah karat!
DAMN! how can dat melvin actually get to hold dat basketball rim??
My most maximum was on da net and da god dam board weii!!!
Salute him! xP

Btw, i got bitten by some insect. SO FREAKING PAIN! ( and nobody cares!FIGURE OUT URSELF WHU I MEANT )

My stamina is freaking low, which i freaking hate.
1 year wifout training AT ALL sucks badly.
my jump is getting lower, my run is getting SLOWER and i hurt my legs much more easier!
syte!

exams is counting down!!!
and i'm nort ready.
I NEED TO STUDY N STOP PLAYING!!!!!!!!!

Saturday i have some stupid camp.
Ugh! compulsary..
Its public speaking from morning till evening.
GONNA BE SO FREAKING BORED!
&
dadi tort it was building tents n all, seriously dat i dun mind it will be much fun-Ner than this.
Btw, they wun get us to build camps coz there is no guys.
Its not easy to make ur OWN tent wifout a guy's strength.

I sometimes hate the 6th sense dat i have...
I can juz feel something coming, but something juz ask me to leave it and not follow rules.
It may be a gud thing though..
well, i dun care anymore!, i've ald told out once.
Dad would've too known coz i think he heard it.
Yeah maybe the hurt was juz too deep for me to support anymore.
Doing this over and over again to me juz killed dat angel in me.
I'm nolonger afraid to admit, coz i'm just so fed-up wif everything ..
I hate crying over it all the time. Nothing hurt me most but this.
I started going out this month, n i'm sure u knoe why.
Yup i go to tmn aman all the time, i go out to jaya, i still go to ssp, and i still do my hmw at tmn aman. I go dere to play basketball, something dat will make me smile. something dat will bring all my trouble away.. I went to ss2 before, went mayang too.
All you knoe is dangerous.. wad abt my feelings? the freedom dat i "should" hv the rights to get!
I knoe it is dangerous. But if you don't want to let me go out then its juz too bad don't u think?
Wif permission at least u will knoe where i am.
But no i was nvr allowed, why even bother asking anymore?
To disappoint myself??
i wanted to watch pirates so badly nobody wanna go wif me, i can't go out wif joyce, nat , n ling shin.
Do u think i feel happi?
Until now, the show is ald nolonger there so do u think u can turn back time and mend everything dat u hv done?
Do u actually knoe wad i want?
i wanna go church do u knoe?? who will bring me dere? as if u would?
i liked cell groups, i love reading the bible.. God has always been keeping an eye on me, making sure i nvr fall out the wrong path, he had always been talking to me no matter i'm sad or happy.. although i don't really pray but i knoe God receives my messages, times when i really need Him he is there for me.
Meeting all my friends is actually faith, changes they bring to my life and changs i bring to theirs is juz amazing.

Who will actually spend time playing basketball wif me?
Who will spend time going swimming wif me? the whole pool for myself?
Who will spend time wif me doing the THINGS I LIKE?
u can still say all you want dat i think abt myself & all, but sometimes u nvr think of me..
yeah i'm different from all of you, i have different hobbies, different likings.
i loved sports since young but you all discouraged me from taking it.
camps i can nvr go to camps.
Its always wasting time.
Its always dangerous.
Everything is.
Maybe u can juz keep me in a box?
Having a relationship wif a guy won't kill.
Look at every teenager now, the world is changing everyday. You will nolonger see those really gud ones they are extinct for all you knoe!!!
I nolonger want to swim myself back to the memories dat can make me cry..
Yeah stopping my tuition is for my own good..
I was planning to leave the whole paper empty and i dun give a dam.
I will study but i wun answer the paper maybe..

Yea and if you are interested to knoe my code colour, its BLUE & RED

BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives. BLUES have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone, once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.
Doesn't explain so well here but wad the book say is pretty true..

Arhems, Mr Melvin specially reqested me to blog about him.
=.=
oiks! wad to say abt u larrrr
i derno wei hahaha!!
Okay larr this guy dam funny one.
Wears a cap in the hall derno for wht as if lar its not hawt enuf xP
He stupidly reads my name tag n started calling my name >.<
seriously he doesn't knoe wad is called freakyy..
Owh n after he knew my name he started calling it OVEr & OveR again u knoe like parrot?
Yupz exactly like dat larr!

see i so gud post abt u weih! one looonnggg post summore haha!! happi enuf??
Owh i forgot to mention he also like one old lady!!
Remind u things OVER n Over again!!
i wonder wad happens when he grows older O.O
Much worst n much horrifying =O

HahA!!

~chiaoz~

Yesterday was gathering!
After months of shoutings,fightings, stress-ing it finally came to an end.
The gathering was gud i muz say.
Despite the fact dat it was so fast oni until 2pm.
Coz PN.LAILA wants to GO HOME.
Meet alort of new friends ^^
Time to go to xj's blog to steal some pictures ngeeehehehe!!!
Damn! dat gal not yet upload pictures >.< fun =")">Harvey Norman Norman i mean =P came out like some sesat guy
Ask me if he could pluck the flowers around the skewl to give it to da performes.
O.O"
i hanged out wif chooi fun most of da time haha!!
got slapped by her dam lot of times man! stupid gal! =.=
I muz admit she is da center of attention for guys!
haha!!
She was dam happy when the guys she liked came to her n asked for her number~~!~~!
wuuu~~~
So young dy wan pak toh haha!! muz tease her when i see her =P
gots to run now to catch potter movieee!!
~chioaz~

Yesterday was the departure of my uncle's family back to aussie.
I will definetly miss them =D
It will most probably be another 5 years time before they come back.
But whe we send him off all of us was kinda pist off haha! specially the 3 sisterz which includes me xP
When i was at the airport i was feeling like below,

Stomachache = diarrhoea
Headache = Sick
Gastric = After the 2 hours wait ( my last meal was nasi minyak at 10 am)

Can you imagine how gud i feel?

Owh one of it reach dere and its broken! i wonder whats the use of it when 1 is missing eh?
Can u like put 2? doesn't it makes everything all weird? Ugh! i shall not say anything more.
Buying it is some very stupid idea in the 1st place, making all of us suffer is another case.
SKIP SKIP SKIP

Had dinner at 10.20pm.
Went home, i was grumpy n all coz i was feeling sooo freaking energy-less!
drop to bed until next morning.
Cannot wake up.
Have severe headache again.
Tummy ache occurs once again.
Dam remembered freaking PEKA.
So walked my ass to skewl.
Slept in car.
Dad was like bugging me why i nid stay back until 5 this this n that that
ugh! he is so not sensible! i'm ald half dead, freaking bad headache, my stomach aching me to death! n he juz have to ask n ask NONSTOP!
StJohn got wad?
Yalar gathering on Sat ryte? y nid stay back today??
PLZ larh... i obviously got reasons ryte..
Hall no nid decorate? so it decorates itself? souveniors no nid wrap??? Chairs no nid set up??
So muz i explain one by one so my headache gets worst??
LOL i basically said GOT WORK TO DO LA! & some *noises* to make him stop asking before i start scolding or shouting!

At skewl, no PJ so i slept on my clothes.
Nearly died.
Run to toilet once,
cannot tahan took medicine
carbon,immodium,panadol,strepsils,flu medicine.
Now without panadol i'm like some dead fish.
I will have bad headache when panadol runs off. i feel energyless.
I'm like depending on panadol -.-

SKIP SKIP SKIP SKIP

Going home time.
My head almost explode again.
Panadol was like gone coz sharp 8 hours.
Had to go buy groceries.
i was like grumblingggggg headache n stomachache non-stop.
but bought lotsa junkies =D
HAHA i think i'm nort fat enuf man! xP
But its weird that i can actually see bones on my chest nowadays.
Not very obvious but can sometimes see n sometimes not.
Time to add in some weight =O
Thats a happi thing haha =D

Owh not forgetting to mention.
The screw from my glasses came out =.=
So during physics class i'm HALF blind =)
Mrs.Loo took the best teaching aid to help her in class today A PIN =O
She pooked Amal,Keerth,Sophie & Ling Shin wif da pin haha!~!

LOL n she gave me a stare when i ask her teacher are we allowed to treat u as a plant n water you =D
HAHA!!!!!!!
She ask us wad u think?
They all backed me up n say Surely Can larh teacher!!!
LMAO!!
Her eyes were so huge looking at me =P
Touch me & ur dead that sorta look.

We still hv no math teacher.
All of us miss her MANY MANY MANY!
Its somehow like someone missing in da 4SB family..

Let me speak a lil,
I was chatting wif Wun days ago, abt the past.
We laughed most of the time, thinking back how childish we were then.
He kept on shutting me up abt his past haha his "DIRTY" past.
Comeon ppl grow anyway dats wad makes u special n thats how ppl remember u when they grow up =D u shud be thankful!
AHAH! Wun asked me i wonder how is dat yuvenus now O.O
He remembers man!!
LOL i forgot his name larr >.< so ="D">.< wun ="D" all ="D" me =")" love ="D" darling =")" buds ="D" ears =")" now =")" bestie ="P" married ="O" story ="D">.<
That makes ling shing Ling shin.
Forever eaves dropping over me n hema's conversation haha!!
always get worried over EVERY Liitttlllee thing.
Without this cheeky lil gal dere wun be a happi lil class afterall x)

i shall stop here now my panadol is running off.. i can't think to my other best buds u shall wait till the next post xP

~cheers to my besties~

I regained energy to walk.
Yesterday i was like some sorta jelly man...
can hardly find the energy to walk..
Bad migrain since the night before..
So ended MC 2 days.
The hmw is insanely terrifying
So even on MC i moved my arse to skewl >.<

AHA! hmw's almost done!
But guess wad teacher moved me to a whole new wonderland!
OF MORE WORK!@!@!@@

*******************************(all the vulgarities)

GOSH!
I shall sometimes let procrasitination do some job -.-
I am purely sick of work!
St John gathering is around the corner!
3K camp is either!
WTF?
Where to dig time to study?
Who's willing to give me some x'tra time??
YH aka Mr Caveman I seriously am in need of ur brains =D
we can go on a operation ASAP so i can return ur brains ASAP =D

Take it easy?
Yeah so god dam eff-ing easy to say.

Chill got alort more time.
ALORT? u kidding me??
ARGH!
i wanna suicide!
anyone mind pushing me off the cliff?
I knoe a sum of u dat'll luv to do that, i welcome ue to do that too =)

Stress = Sarcasm!

exam is drawing nearer by the days.
I juz can't seem to get dat arse moving.
I'm falling sick once again.
This time i can't let my sick ruin everything.
i can nolonger bare to see the 9G
Those horrifying hmw is driving me to the wall.
This term its also 25% formative.
Seriously speaking i hate dat blardy skewl!
If spm takes the same basis then it will be okay.
But no.
HMW won't help you to score an A for SPM will it?
When u can finish those retarded hmw's u can nolonger finish studying!
FUCK IT!
Dat trainee is begging on his knees for us to hand in his work.
=.=
Gawd.
Y not we beg on our knees to not hand in our hmw instead.
It isn't easy to die out freaking reports dat we itself dun understand the experiment dat we are doing.
Presentations, presentations non-stop!
damit!
AHA! i still nid to do Pn. Santira's WORK for HER!
wad sorta world is this?
I'm not dat free u knoe!

On friday add math teacher wasn't around. I could no longer stand the runny nose of mine.
I took the panadol cold & flu.
Slept in class...
I didn't even realize pn hamimah came in =.=
yupz as usual u knoe wad happens larh...
>.<
Owh n Miss Azrin HAD to tell pls speak louder so that the class can hear.
Hello??? I'm sick how loud do u expect me to speak??
Real nonsense.

Our great math teacher is gone.
We don't have a math teacher now....
haih.. math = FAIL
Add math = FAIL either.
To how Mr Edy teaches Chem = FAIL
See how beautiful my results will be??
yupz its juz great!

argh! wtv larh!
I've had enuf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dun understand add math!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm juz gonna fail it n nobody's gonna give a damn!
HURRAY!

Exactly 5 in da morning now =)
Whee!!! my hmw list is reduced by 4 i think =P
tmr need to use my hardly can speak voice to sing!
Taylor Hicks - Do i Make u proud
A rehersal for Pn.Leow's retirement.
And FYI i still haven't got the time to make da card yet >.<
Ugh. Friggin pen sucks =.=
Shud hv juz bought back my G1
ARRRRR!!!! i still got pn santira's work!
EYSH!
I better go bath n try get HER work done before she chops my head off
=.=
LOL
Suprised myself man i actually tried to finish all my hmw.
Unfortunately the task failed!
Its imposibble to actually finish 20 hmw's at ONE GO =P

~off to bath~

I NEED TO FIND A JOB!!!!! badly.


See the amount of NOT done hmw ?? LOL i suppose dere is no over dued ones =X

=.= GOT caught!! they say my nails were long O.O not very long ni werd..

My new pens n m new ruler wheee x)

The 3 sisters =)

Us xP
Cousins & uncle
Gamblers O_O

Lets see..
Yesterday Had family gathering wif uncle,aunty,grandma,granduntie, etc etc =)
Den gambled abit after dinner
Guess how much i won!!!
Rm 1
O_O
LOL
Den after dat play game wif yh till kinda late.
YH is such a caveman .
Like nvr see gal skewl before LOL
YH, remember u hv to sacrifice ur laptop to get me my ginseng xP
YH is an evil arse =.= he knoes i typo den go laugh at me eysh! LOSER!
We played stupid childish games on MSN since he WANTED to >.< die =")" along =")" use ="P" complain =".="">.< recipe =")" color="#ff99ff" size="5">HAPPY BURFDAY ANGELINEEEEEEEEEee!!!!

Okay its 7:30am.
LOL suprised you dat i'm awake??
Haha okay i shall stat dragging myself to St.John meetings.
Coz i miss all those geekoooo'ssss
HAHA!!
kdkd
Jr ask me how come u nvr go for St John meeting.
Ahh.. HIDE MYY FACE.
LOL so i better drag my arse dere.
i had to dig for my uniform yesterday and thank god its still in ONE PEICE.
Err.. my head gear sorta..... squished larh but yea whu cares.
AHA! i can still fit in it!
Its seriously tight!!!
So uncomfyy..
sobs!
AGM today..
haha whu will be da next prez??
i wonder..
Will inform u all when i come home l'ter =)
~Ciaoz~

okay okay one last post i can't resist =)
OMG i'm having a serious sickness!! O_O
i can oni concentrate during the nite!!
i catch stuffs 50X faster than during the day.
LOL!!
I CAN DO ADD MATH!! i rawk =)
History anyhow still sucked i wun get to finish one chapter by today damit!! kill me someone plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been playing too much lately LOL muz study xP
Became abit stupid in da class dy.. blurry sotong abit =)
4 more chem reports n 2 more bio reports to go!! go gurl!
lallalalalalalala hmw sucks.
Overdued hmw sucked more!
=.=
25% formative siao!
crazy insane nonsense!
wad they trying to do kill us?

ARGH!! Eff blogspot!!!!!!!!!!!! i typed such a long story thanks to some complication on the HTML code it got deleted! so yeah wtv! get yest story from me larh! I lazy wan type 1ooo words again.. its not fun it took me an hour to do it -.-""

Okay the second post of the day.
Now lets talk about my day at skewl.
Half Dead.
Add math is on circular measure suprisingly is darn easy =)
Woo Hoo~! 1st time weih my add math teacher tapped my shoulder n said GOOD!
O_O
shocking.

Arghh!! Briged! Briged!! stuffs comin again.
I don't even have the blardy mood to get out of class n do it larh!
My proposals all not done!! she's gonna hang me alive!!!
SHIT!

Hema said the culture nite was darn fun x)
She wore punjabi suit! Aperlarh!! wear sareeee werd so much nicer!!
Let me tell you y she said it was fun. Coz got hawt guys to see!! =X LMAO!!

JILLLLLL i wan ur add math boooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkk n dat day the hmw punya explanation!!! damit 4 question i oni can do 1 >.< . BTW ask Mr. Nigel to please SPEAK for himself! owh btw, now the whole skewl thinks i hv something wif Nigel now =.= Thanks ALOT jill it was indeed a BIG help =.=

Imagine when u walk to skewl in da morning stupid shitting tears running dwn unstopable n someone called after you n say " EVELYN!!!!! *look to the left* NIGEL MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!"
**WOOOTS**

RAWR!

Physics class was darn fun.
Mrs Loo told us some story dat she made up, cruelty abt the baby to teach us HOOKE's LAW!!
LOL!!
Yesterday she told us a PIN can be a very good teaching aid! O_O
she asked if we knoe how.
I said DERNOOOOO!!!
she took the pin n come after me.
Nasib baik lari cepat if not another hole on my body =P

I need go read up my history.
I can't answer one question on today's paper it is as if the paper is written in some foreign language! =.=

With my hands n legs like this i managed to score 5 goals
(O_O)
But it was amazingly fun =)
HAHA!! my one hand shoot all sucked coz my hands still shivering even when i write so imagine when i try to aim wif one hand a TOTAL failure. The ball went senget-ed -.-
I can still jump very high though hahaha!!!!
Ugh! i can't do tricks anymore!!
I can't cross ball!!!!
I can't back shoot!!!!!!
I can't twist shoot!!!!
WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF !!!!! So long never play all tricks sudah lupa CRY!!!!
My hands can barely reach my back now how to back shooooott!!!!!!!!!!!!! twist shoot the ball fly derno where OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!
BAD JUDGEMENT!!!
The ball abit too heavy though i dun pretty much like it =X (Blame it on the ball haha )
I can shoot sideways though =)
They were dam gud larh i buat malu oni =.=


TKD got grading yesterday.
Haih once again watch with dat DESPERATE word on my forehead.

Mad can't figure out how to do my add math question too SOBIEEE!!!
btw, nvr come claim ur book fm me today make me carry oni -.- eysh!

I NEED TO STUDY BEFORE i really DIE! T.T
I have to constantly remind myself abt exam!!!
Its gud to hv my leg like this LOL so i'm tied to sitting dwn in the blardy class n have teachers to see my pityfull leg n not ask me to do stuffs =) hehehehe!!!
better go do some histories before..... my teacher murders me (she LOST my book n expect me to do from the starting!! WTF? she wished larh)
Better get back my exercise from her before she lose it again!

~chiaoz~
@.@ Giving up my dream because of you? NEVER @.@

This is the 160th post O_O cummulating the old blog larh (so math-ish)
I seriously blog too much >.<

The reason : It was for my own good and its because i'm too young to think for myself.
Yes, I knoe how much you all are worried that i will pick the wrong path.
I'm not stupid to have think studies is not important.
And if you all think i'm acting all weird coz of my phone then you can go on.
Juz because i exaggerated abt my needs of my phone it doesn't mean i can die without it.

1st of all may i point out.
You don't allow me to go camp
Its for MY OWN GOOD.
You stopped my tuition
Its for MY OWN GOOD & because i hv no interest in addmath.
(i don't think you knoe me)
You don't allow me to join TKD
Its FOR MY OWN GOOD.
You don't allow me to learn Guitar
ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
You don't allow me to go out wif gals
Its Dangerous & its for my OWN GOOD.
You don't allow me to go out wif boys
ITS Dangerous also AND ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
You don't like me going skating
ITS also MY OWN GOOD.

What is not dangerous can you plz point out?
Staying in at home for 24/7 is not dangerous u mean?
Wht if dere is flash floods?
Wht if the hse got caught on fire?
Wht if I suicide?
Is that safe to you?

By keeping my phone you think i will talk to you then you are wrong!
Next thing you gonna do is take away the computer right?
I'm not threaten by this.
If you want go ahead.

How do you want me to talk to you?
All you say to me is just owh you caan never study.
You shud juz stop studying after SPM.
I'm not going to give you money to go college.
If you think of money so importantly then FYI i'm not even looking forward to ask you for money to study.
I have hands n legs to work n get my own!
Before i can finish my sentence tht i wanna go out wif my friends you juz say NO and don't ask why.
Is how we communicate?
Don't you realize now tht you say no i dun even bother to ask why anymore?
Coz you will juz shut me up.
Wht's the point of asking?
I ald knoe i can't freaking go so do you think i will ask for dissapointment?
Can you tell me how to talk to you?
Owh this guy has a crush on me.
or shall i say owh dat guy so handsome i like him!
(plz think of your reaction to me when i say that)
So do you think i will tell you anything like this??

Sometimes when i think back i really miss the days when i go in yr room daily n talk abt everything.
Nothing to hide abt, no hatred, only laughters.
I really missed it.
When my sisters are young, they get to go out get groceries every weekend doing things a family does.Dinners every weekend.Go trips to shopping malls n supermarkets. Those fights that we have when i was so young. Those late night cinema days.
It is juz gone.
Gone when i'm only 11.
After granma had stroke have we really been doing anything as a family before?
Its either when i make an effort to go to some childish places dat you all say dwn n stuffs like dat or is either oni half the family is there.
Yeah you realize i wanted to go to some place for a reason all the time.
Don't you realize the fun is juz not there when you don't do it in a family?

Its not that i'm trying to pull myself out from the family.
Its just all the things that you've all done.
You can deny it.
Deny everything & say its me having some stupid attitude problem.
But think back, when you were all young you have all those attentions, i'm the left out one.
In all this year i'm like stuck in the house.
There you blame that i always sit infront of the computer.
What do you want me to do over the holidays?
I can't go out with friends.
Nobody is even free to bring me out.
So what do you want me to do besides chatting n playing maple?

What did i get when i got top 3 in class?
You said it was my luck.
n you said coz i was in some mediocre class.
I didn't hear you praise me before.
Not once why even mention twice.
What you did to me was not letting me play maple and deleting it.
Why not put yourself in my shoes n see how you feel?
I like playing basketball do you even knoe?
Who can i play with besides ghost and air?
I can't even go out with any of my friends to actually get a nice game with them.
I can juz stare at people playing it with a word DESPERATE on my face!

Kau fu told me he don't believe me that i've nvr come here skating before.
He don't even believe tht i've nvr gone out wif my friends in this 16 years of my life.
He juz went speechless when i told him.

You can compare me with rachael i too can compare you.
In this years of life for whatever i do wrong i have to apologize, but whatever you all did wrong you have never once said sorry to me.

Its not that i want to be like this.
Its just that i don't even knoe what i can say anymore.
I'm juz too tired to argue with you, i'm juz too fed-up, i'm juz too speechless to talk to anyone of you.

"why your parents like this?"
If i can answer this question i would hv done it to myself.

- i can say nothing more -

First of all,
I'm Sorry if i bring u all any trouble or worries.

Secondly, I wanna thank all my babes that hv been beside me when i need you guys badly.
It shows that you all knoe me very well.
The moment you see me you knew something was wrong.
I'm much better after all the comfort ya'll had given me.
Thanks Dar for comin to my class early in da morning to give me a great big hug.
Thanks Hema for chatting wif me throughout the class making sure dat i'm okay.
Thanks Devil for telling me that it will all juz be gone as soon as you knoe.
Thanks Mad to have listen to me grumble like an old lady over n over again.
Thanks Thira too to hv listened to me too.
Thanks to Grace to hv listened n comforted me half way then telling me dat she hv to go off to try clothes. LOL!!

Lastly Darling, i wun promise you anything but for now i'm emotionally stablized.

I have to give in to dar..
She said dat she will be the 1st one dat will be sad if i died.
Not forgetting to mention the rest which she said is ALOT.
HaHa!! yeaaa ryte.

I truthfully thank all of you to hv borrowed me a shoulder to cry on, a place for me to hold when i lost my balance.
~I lurve you all lots~

In da morning i was like some dead fish, you guys juz splash dwn some miracle water n made me alive =)

BIG HUGZ to all of you x)

Found this at Grace's Blog decided to take the test =O ( pretty true though )

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

You Serious? (O_O)

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

=P

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

LoL-er

You Have Good Manners 63% of the Time

Your manners are quite excellent. You are well versed in etiquette. Of course you have the occasional slip up, but you even apologize with grace.

I'm weird coz i'm rare =P

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)

Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal. Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

wuuu~~

You Are 64% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

GREEN o.o

You Are A Green Girl

You feel most at home in a world of ideas. You're curious and logical - and enjoy a good intellectual challenge. You're super cool, calm, and collected. Very little tries your patience. Your only fear? People not realizing how smart and able you are!

Mysterious O_O

You Play it Cool

You're not in your face, smokin' hot... and it's all by design You have a carefully crafted cool persona, leaving everyone wanting to know just a little more.

haha!!

You Are 59% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

I'm Not happy whee~

You Are 36% Happy

You're not miserable, but you could stand to be a lot happier. Focus on what's right in the world, and you'll be happier than you ever thought possible.

- i wun say one word anymore -
- i hv no strength to argue with them -
- they like it or not i dun care -
- i wun even ask for the slightest thing altough how badly i need it -
- i lost the stregth to move forward -
- i am just going to watch all of them move forward and seing myself fall far behind -
- Who cares? -
- I'm already entering the fantasy of my own -
- i'm living in my own world -
- A world apart from all of them -
- i grew stronger -
- I'm no longer scared -
- I used to be when i was young -
- But now i dun even fidget the slightest -

- Counting dwn till exams -
- According to this condition i'm in i'll probably strike ten 9 G's -
- lets celebrate yipee -

- Hatred grew stronger n stronger by the days -
- Drifting apart little by little -
- The distance has became so far and way too much -
- To juz be unoticable -
- I want tears to trickle dwn my cheeks -
- It did not happen -
- My brains juz told me it no longer will -
- The amount of tears dat fell for them is juz too much -
- How hard i tried i juz can't.. -

Devil ilu.. haih..

Yeah i'm beggining to hate now. When all the feelings are washed away, hating comes next.

This are the side effects of : Mastered skating in just 3 hours time.

MY ENGLISH IS GETTING WAY WORST!!! HELPPPPP!!!!!!!
My 1119 PAPER was an A2 damit!

I'm suppose to wake up early in da morning n find myself in Langkawi.
Ironically i found myself at home on bed.
i dun feel like waking up today.
I juz don't feel the need to.
I no longer hv the want to live another day.
When i'm typing this i think i saw invinsible tears rolling dwn my cheeks.
I finally broke dwn.
I want to wake up in the world of my own.
My own fantasy that will never hurt my feelings at all.
I don't feel like speaking to anyone at all.
Even my grams.
Even him.
The only thing that i will seem to say is yes and no.
I am 50% much quiter than i used to at skewl now.
I still laugh, but fake you might consider.

My english is getting way worst.
Finally i feel like picking up some books n read.
I never get to read in peace.

"Eh why you never go out one?"
*eyes roll*
ASK someone dat is sitting infront of you and DON'T ask me why. FULLSTOP

Everyone that i knoe is bad.
All my friends are stupid, idiots, and they are all bad.
Yes i might have to say, some of them smoke.
Does smoking makes them bad?
The amount of things i went thru wif any of them shows that they are not at all bad.
Yeah i must admit, when i 1st saw them.
Hell yeah i'm scared.
The feeling of STAYING as far as possible.
But, after a few words with them, they are just like normal people.
Abit nottier, much funnier, speak bad words n make joke out of any sentence, and smoke.
Not all smokes but some.
Somehow you might say its faith or anything.
But our relations grew much stronger from then on.
They share my problems and i share theirs.
Until now i'm still in contact with all of them.
I must agree sometimes they like to talk very nonsense things, but they are 100% joking.
Being with them it seems to wash away all the troubles because i can joke around with them.
They can make me laugh when even when i cry.
There has been a fight among them dat made them drifted apart.
Most of them consulted me... but seems like nothing can be done.
I am like a younger sister to them.
No matter how we are seperated, i'm sure all of them will hv the sweet memmories we had back then.
I remembered they assumed before dat when i get into trouble they will flee n leave me.
I wonder why they are still sticking up for me now?

I miss all my gurlfwends. Its been 9 months since we've met ryte?
It freaks me when we still can talk like a bunch of besties.

Maybe its true on what they say Once Friends Forever Friends =)

"har y u can't go out???"
why? i want to knoe why too.

The reasons they give are pathetic.
All reasons are debatable.

Isn't it useless to argue anymore?
They think its fun hiding things from them.
They think i like it.
They think its fun lying.
They think i like lying.
Lying to myself its the hardest task.

I'm never good. Everything dat i get is useless.
I think abt useless things.
That is ALL they knoe abt me.
They don't knoe the person living in me at all.
I look strong, but i am not.

To all teens out there stop whining abt curfews.
Its better to have curfew than to never have gone out before.
curfew?
i don't think i knoe this word well.

Yeah i get to go out with my elder sister you think its fun?
The shops they go is for their age.
They make their decisions.
why not i just stay home?

Don't even remind me about pirates.
If you don't evn allow how do i even tell you the time date where n when?
HUH?

"Har why your parents like this one?"
i can't even utter a word.

Why am i hated at skewl when i was young?
Ask them please.

-silent cries-