love

is unpredictable

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Straw-Berriez.BlogSpoT.CoM
As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . .
I will always keep falling in love with you.
Karen Clodfelder-

You don't hurt me anymore, sorry~
The past is always something i remembered as "happy"
and full with experiences...
I'm proud to say my life is real, thts why it has ups and downs.
You-just-don't-matter anymore.
Goodbye my past..... Hello to a more matured girl...

I overcome you..
But, if you're reading this i would want you to know that i've forgiven all of you long ago..
I forgave, and forget...
I'm sorry if i've done anything wrong to you before.
I'm sorry for everything that has happened.
Deeply, i'm so sorry.

I just didn't have the strength to continue walking down the path i know was wrong. I needed to straighten myself, i knew what i wanted in the future, i'm sorry i had to say goodbye.
But of course, if i see you; i would say hi and maybe we'd start all over again?
Future is hard to predict and the world is small... growing smaller each and everyday.
The power of technology.


Signing off. Assignment sucks real bad. -_-
waiting for baby to come down... ♥

Happy Wesak Day everyone.
Since the clock has already striked twelve =)
♥

The past is really haunting me.
Read things i never wished to read.
Itchy hands wouldn't stop.
Maybe its a good thing yea?

I grew up, i had a proper life, i tried hard to erase everything I never wished to remember. I gave myself a few years. I pushed the restart button. I never want to connect back!
I don't want to be back where i was before.
I don't want to change and fit myself to somewhere i don't belong.
I don't want to hear lies, fakes, and stupid rubbish anymore.
I just want to make use of my time to do something useful.
I made it.
I changed.
I became different.
I do consider myself successful.
I have friends.
I have the best bf on earth.
I have the best-est friends i could ever ask for.
Luck is always on my way. [for now]
I love everything I have, & I am contented with what I have.
I don't wish to have it all reversed.
Why do people like stalking me?

Is my blog so nice to read huh?
Or does it make you feel happy to see that i'm suffering???
Karma goes around. Serious.
If i meet you on the street i wouldn't recognize you.
Even if i do... i won't know where to start.
I knew you. Past Tense.
Now i don't. FULLSTOP.

Okay crapping all this shit shows how stressed up i am. Assignment is killing me inch by inch. Exams is drawing nearer. My brain should not be thinking of the past, it is best left where it is.
Really. Why? WHY am i thinking of things i'm not supposed to? I've learnt that in life you will meet people with all kinds of weird personalities. I've met the worst of all ( at least i thought i have ) Those experiences really haunt me a lifetime. But in the end, i learnt how to deal with people like this.... good or bad? I'll leave it for you to decide!

Back to happy storiessss... here are the week's happenings

I hit my car side when i was turning; caused me this. Painful shit. I know the plaster very cute sani said it looked like a tatooo... O_O

My week's new favourtism. :) time to go get it from fridge YIPEE. *gives a 3 yr old face*

Bak kut teh with the gang. JJ, Uncle Joe & Zhi. This is to show how big eater uncle Zhi is. Half bowl of my rice not enuf, tambah lagi satu. D:

'
The one thing that baby left for me to keep me sane for his last week of exam...
I ♥ You Bi.

And ALOT more happenings which
a) i couldn't remember
b) lazy to think
c) shall go back to work ASAP with my ice cream
d) *hint* *hint* 31st is on Monday. *HINT*

darling daisy misses you. & i missed you even more. Sunday........ and 3 months all mine. Promise? ♥

Study hard, last paper! i believe in you.

Signing Off- Eve. Mood : Slightly emotional, slightly happy, slightly lovable, slightly PMS... GAH i don't know! ♥

I sometimes wished part of my life would be erased.
It would be so fun if i have a magic eraser to do such things right?

Thinking back, all the things i've done in the past; are the right or wrong?
An act of stupidity? or a clever act?
Its lucky that i didn't cross down the path i shouldn't or rather somewhere i know i don't belong in.

My first love was stupid.
Something that never worked out.
Something resembled a fruit - the first few days when you look at it they look so nice and pretty but when it is kept for too long it turns rotten,bad, and ugly.
I never knew the truth, not even until now. So many years later; you claim the truth but i actually doubt you. You lied too much, too much that i don't know what you say is right or wrong.
Just because of your selfish-ness you made up stories so that i'd pity you. You made stories just so i'll be with you. You L-I-E-D in every statement you said.
I know then, yet i choose to believe you. I made every excuse to myself to believe you.
You. Turned my whole life upside down then. Nothing could be turned back anymore; our story would just be another laugh-at memorable story; because i'm no longer available for you to wait. I'm sorry if i broke you heart; it is my way for saying Thank You because you shattered mine in the first place.
Thank You, we never worked out.
Thank You i grew up,became less naive, became stronger.

I throw the last thing i have of you almost two years back. I will not look back anymore, because now my life is filled with happiness, with the one i love most-
He might not be the first love.
But he took over your place long ago already....
He is now the first, the last and the one and only.

I no longer need/wish/want your love.
I only need Baby E forever and always.

I didn't blog this few days because of
a) this
b) that
c) this & that
d) that and this.

Okay to summarize all those this & thats.. i've been busy and sick literally... i just regained my energy to crawl up from bed and be a little more energetic! :)
Even when i'm half dying i still have to CRAWL to UNI. FML.

Can you believe it that MAY is coming to an end?! WTF. half of 2010 is gone?! After SPM, my life is moving on a bullet train speed... everything seem so fast and ACCELERATED! i feel damn scared now.

a) i have an accelerated course after SPM ( Foundation )
b) now i have an accelerated DEGREE course (ending my year one SOON)
c) i even have an acccelerated WORK.

Therefore the last and longest break i had was - 2weeks PLUS after my foundation in transmission to degree. Latest holiday was my mid term break 1 week. Great! My life is hard as a blardy stone. -_- (lifeless) if you are looking for a word to call it!

Crap, i'm 20 year old next year. No longer a teenager & i am SO NOT ready.
Somewhat i feel my physcological body is growing faster den my mentality could coupe!
At this top rate of life speed, i think i'll be working in no time. FML.
I need to go for a holiday!! SOBSOB.

Urgh, i am so not going to care what mum says about "no you're not going to redang blablabla"
i'm gonna say " SHH, i just need an escape just 1-2days OFF my hectic life"
Else i'll probably die and end up not seeing my own country fully even. How pathetic is that?!
Sat - ur - day is not a BREAK/HOLIDAY for me -__- walking malls is not an escape off city life izit?! if for you it is a yes den you're a weirdo ~



OMG. i long for this scenary. T__________T



And i wanna go to HONG KONG AGAIN... kowloon hotel. *comfyyyyyy*

The need to travel with my beloved Baby E is there because i am overloaded with work and i just need a break from everything. =( I'm sure both of us needs a break.
Him with his final exams
Me with my assignments, researchs, exams. HAIHS. Life.

Still, i'm always grateful to God, because he sent me an angel (Baby E) to look after and take care of me and be with me whenever i needed him. Going through my ups and downs in life with him was pure blessings. I love you Lord. & in the meantime, i also love you Baby E. Study hard. 3 more to go! i'll do the count down for you ^^

3days in trade of 3 months baby! i know you can do it!!! JIAYOUs

Hmm, today i don't hope to catch you reading this "tau-lan-ing" ; maybe tmr you can! because you are lacking of time!! hugs*

Save money mode : Active. HOLIDAY HERE I COME. for now; WORK HARDER!!!


I'll look forward to this and i hope you'll look forward to it too :) hugs. BTW, where is yr nike band wrist? dah lama nvr see you wear it O.O"

Okay Signing off~

I'm bored hence Post Number 2 for the day :)
The reluctant-ness to start on my piles of work. BooYeah.
haha

My parents came back from NZ alrd =) Had my honeyyy lemon today (Lovieeee!!)


& mum bought me an adidas T-Shirt, Bought my Bf one cap & T-shirt. So "pien sum" LOL! boyfriend ada two items i only got one...


Boredom leads you to...
Me & Mousieeee :))

Baby E always laugh at my cute mousie. Humpft... *emo* Maybe coz he's jealous :P
My Mousie is my beloved other half because it has been wif me since i'm a baby (age 0)
Thus
Priority a)Baby E b) Mousiee

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Signing Off

TO BABY.E,
i love you, study hard! & dun "taulan" anymore MuAxKs...

It is the weekends once again !
:)

Yesterday was pure fun,pleasure & a Bliss day for me ^^
Because my boyfriend insisted to come all the way down for me although he is having exams early in the morning; best part is...*drum rolls* he actually bought me a new white mousieee :)
So Happy & suprised!

Thank you Darling........♥



After lunch we went to AC to pass Alvin his leather shoes :)
And we went to Old Kawan to minum (my hot chocolate taste like MILO.)
Alvin quoted "Malaysia version of Hot Chocolate = Milo"

Off we head to pyramid for our dinner :)
& With the CFPI :D *happy*
But a few FFK.... our shogun plan was uberly screwed; but in the end we had fun at ampsquare with food and karaoke ! Loveeeeee~~
The room was SUpER huge, consisting of 3 LCD's, 4 Microphones and One video Game!

Take 1) Baby E obsessing over his game. like small boy playing game onlyyy.. super cuteeee.

Disturbing him when he's gaming :))

And i flashed him till he lost his game :) so that he could take ONE nice pic with me hehehe *YE--AAYYY*

Finally US :)

The rest of our group pictures will have to wait! because....... its with cheemin & Alison SOBSOB.

Ps: my friend's bf thought i was from a chinese school?! and i thought i was well-known of being a BA-NA-NA. LOL. stupit bf owiz laugh at my mandarin *cries*

SafeAssign

a
word
all
uni
students
HATE.

Plagiarism.

I'm so sorry to those who got 75% and above... i trust you all didn't copy... i'm sure its just that stupid programme being toooo overly sensitive. Stupid shit right? =(
Cheer up! because i'm sure after the review your assignments would be okay ^_^

University life is getting harder each day; but mean time the class bond also grows stronger each day =) soon enough after our "getting used" to each other we'd have to reshuffle the classes again, SIGH! something i really looked forward to because of a certain "someone" but i want the rest to remain... all of them have been sooo nice to me and i would really miss them... 2 more months... and again, the painful goodbye...

Last year was CFPI, which rocks my year.. saying goodbye to them was plain painful. And this year once again... Group 3; is it even possible to remain in the same class for 3 yrs?
Another blow once again~

The week is coming to an end! SO FAST?!; and my darling's exam officially started today... after his then mine would be coming.. time flies so fast. So fast that thinking about it is pretty darn scary. I have so little alone time nowadays... growing up has its painful moments too. Agree?


PS:
To whoever that loves stalking my blog; you know who you are -_-,

Can you please find your own seats in the lecture hall? Can you not make people hate you more? Can you stop troubling people. Everytime i see you i jst feel like giving you ONE tight slap.

Gay f***
Like what Jill says; Karma bites!



Thanks to my daily Love dosages that keeps me going! Love you all :)


Lastly, i have my "big eyed" wannabe with me all the time :)
Baby I Love You-
Study Harder!! hehe- Hugs*

Uni results releasing method is really a horror.
Imagine logging in and waiting for the page to load...
and your results come out ONE-BY-ONE at different dates...
really damn scary

My hands went cold...
and my heart beat damn fast!
Thank God... all my results are okay.
Thank you lord for always answering to my prayers though most of the time i know i don't deserve it =S
amen-

*grateful....*

After taylor's smart change of time table; pushing our classes time to 10am to avoid jams in the morning, now i have "LOVELY" jams during 10am classes.

Imagine jam from LDP all the way into Taylor's parking! INSIDE still jam summore. -_-
Luckily i don't depend on my dad to fetch me to uni nowadays if not he sure damn DL lor... jam till so crazy.

Today after class had to rush to KL fetch my ku poh & grams for lunch den go to times square.. since parents not here, so their job became my job. Amazing....!

Just reach home not long ago... better go rush up my speech and prepare some uni stuffs!
Shall update more lter =)

Ps: the only food i eat in taylor's nowadays is 1901. imagine everyday rm 5.90 damn pain lor...

Darling- study hard! i love you always... :)

Weekends swayed by with just a clip of an eye...
& Its back to all work no play mode -_- (its not like i had any "play" during the weekends afterall)

I finally bid BDSM BSDM written assignment goodbye! My heart almost fell when i drop it into that box; there goes my 70% !!

Today i've finally found one thing that i won't complain on the Taylors Lakeside Campus! Saw their opening of a new road *overjoyed* which means NO more LESS jams!
I really want out time table to be shuffled back to 8am classes -_- i wanna go home earlier =(

My parents have gone to NZ for 3 days already.. and i miss dadi's daily honey lemon SOB...
& hopefully my petrol will last till dad comes back next saturday =( if not i not only have to fund myself on my allowance/ no honey lemon for one week PLUS/ pump own car petrol
*horror face*
(yes i know i am damn pampered :P)

Ahhh.. toones of workload waiting for me (reason of the lacking updates!)
shall go off to shower now ! Will continue post when i'm a little less caught up with works
I hate uni FML.


Ps: thank you baby for the hoodies (our 1st 365 days will always be remembered)
& thanks for coming over early on saturday morning
for alwys being there when i needed you =)
All the best in your studies I'll always be here for you!

Finally its the weekends again! Saturday is the only day i look forward to and await for every week because its the only day i'll be able to see my Baby E. =(
& it makes me miss him so badly...

Sometimes i'm really envious of those people that can hang out with their bf everyday...
watching them hold hands while walking daily me super envious.. sigh.

I know it takes alot to come down everyweek too... thats why i don't ask for more. Of course everything is not perfect; and thats how you always comfort me... "future" - i know... but sometimes when the "missing you" feeling grows too much; it is painful and unbearable... =(

Sundays especially, i would always make myself sleep until really late in the afternoon so that i would feel less of your abscence..

Alot of people think that if you love the person it doesn't mean that the person have to always be by your side.. yes it may be true but not for all people; for most people this statement is pure bullshit and wrong. Because only when your the other half is there and when you are able to see them you'll feel right,safe,happy,loved, and even if everything is wrong you'd feel right... if loving someone doesn't mean being together seeing each other always then why married couples stay together?

Okay, i don't know why i'm suddenly so emotional =( maybe its been too long since i last saw Baby E, and we've had a horribly busy week... not much texting and callings... and i miss him alot right now.... just wanted to be hugged and be in his shoulders at this moment.....

Darling I Love You.

I'm sure you are smart enough to think of the password :)
Sorry guys, i think the post is too cheesy to share :O

Life is definitely a cycle...
From the day you are born till the day you are gone..
Though of course the cycle varies individually; some may be real long and some real short
it all really depends on God's will...
Most importantly is how you value tht period of time or rather how you choose to spend it..

Odd enough, the older i grow the more i feel like human beings are so fragile.
& the more i'm afraid of losing the ones i love..
Especially if it is losing them so suddenly.

Today,
I lost my greatgranduncle
Though never really got to know him well.. but i did visit him weekly when i was younger...
Until i got too busy and too caught up with my own work and life
then i stopped.
When i re-visited him the recently he was so different from the last time when i saw him.. it was almost scary that he suddenly became so thin...
& now... he's just gone so suddenly...
There's nothing much i could do anymore.. will no longer have the chance to visit him..
All i could do is say a silent prayer to God.

Lord i hope that he is in your hands now... good and well (& away from all the sufferings he's had before this). May he be up in heavens watching over us happily...
-amen

You'll be in our hearts, always.

Life's full of hope, don't you think?
At one point in your life, it may seem so hopeless.
But if you be patient and wait a little longer ; hope may just appear.

This happened to me.
I am so glad things turned out so well! although i was about to give up hope after an hour... worth the wait no doubt!
God thank you for everything you've given to me so far. My life had been so awesome & lovely. Though there are some ups and downs; but whenever i feel hopeless i would just turn to you and say prayers, in the end your magic will always work its way to me. Lord Thank You for everything =) amen-

I've had a whole week of rush & sufferings and i've finally waited till the weekends!

Monday was the day I took off to run errands with darling ; changed his sg dollar,buy things for his dad and family, bring him to bus station and watch him leave (was the most painful thing on earth) + worried about him for a whole 7hours 5 hours...

Tuesday was the day i had to rush and rush my assignment... (& replace all my classes since Friday i had to declare OFF day too )

Wednesday took half a day off, to complete my IFA assignment! (managed to do it! YES!!)

Thursday was replacing all my classes again and editing assignments; doing BSDM online test!

Friday wasted an hour & most probably gained 6months of something worth !! (am excited somehow) After IMA lecture i just sleep and sleep at homey!! Finally some rest! and i can tell myself WHAT a week ! :)

I've feast on 1901 for the whole week! ate like 3 hot dogs for a week. Because Taylor's Lakeside is FOODless -_-! No more cafeteria asam laksa for me! always eat that also get food poisoning one *cries*

I will be expecting a Baby tmr :)
Oh wait. That sounds pretty wrong-
I meant i will be expecting my Baby E to be home tmr! YeaYYY!!!

BEEBEE will be home to chauffeur me around on Sunday- Love It!

Just done lunch with da family

;) will come back with more updates later- have to go settle my food poisoning issues now. Urghhh-