★

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 11:24 PM

⇨

Eve Thoughts~

These few days was big Havoc in the uni.

Why?

Thanks to our

Semi Variable timetable.

Wanted to write about my thoughts this few days...

Guess i'm a little PMS-ing or i'm just feeling... Ugh, i don't know.. weird..?

Been thinking alot.. Alot

Financial terms

Family

Relationship

Basically everything.

Don't get why is life so unfair.

Mazda cars with blardy P stickers on it.

I told myself i won't want to be like my sisters.

I want my Wedding Big and paying with my own money.

I want to have my own big car & bungalow house before their age.

I don't want to suffer like how they have when they graduated!

Thats why i worked so hard.

I've seen what they have gone through, and i don't want that to happen to me.

Life to me was never fair.

Doing well yet letting people say its pure luck and not so grand. With no reward was normal.

Getting things myself was also normal.

Learning how to be independent

daring

and street smart.

Was all developed due to the environment.

I wanted to be more girly too.

Who don't want to buy clothes, do manicure all day long, massage and also facial?

Dye hair, treatment, Rebonding?

Which girl in the world don't want to be girlie?

I wished i could, & if i could i would have been way prettier.

Life was never fair. Never was and never will be.

Sometimes i think, if i shouldn't have gotten into a relationship so early. Because i felt like venturing and dig my own pile of gold.

But mean time i'm so afraid what i do will harm the people i love.

Life in high school & primary school was never easy

There i learnt about the society, about the danger of the world outside

In College i learnt about financial constraints.. how to overcome it.

In Uni i solved it all.

& i don't want it all come falling back on me.

I don't want to have to go through all those shit again.

I Just don't have the energy anymore

My dream since i was young, was just to make life more fair for people out there.

I have a big dream, not only for myself but for the people i think i could help.

In my vision.. i saw them all coming true.

I saw it all.

No matter how hard the road is going to be, God as long as i know you're always guiding me; i believe i can make it thru....