Thursday, August 12, 2010 9:16 PM

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It is MY THINKING.

& I like writing - I wrote for myself to read not for anyone else! so fuck off! if it disturbs you so much okay?

You NEVER grew up; YOU never matured; YOU SCREWED UP EVERY FUCKING CHANCE I GAVE YOU. DON'T YOU DARE COME FUCK WITH MY LIFE ANYMORE!!

a) You blame ANYTHING around you BUT YOURSELF!

You blame the mall;

You blame the date

You blame the DAY

You blame the time

YOU BLAME the people

YOU EVEN BLAME GOD!

BUT YOU NEVER REFLECT UPON YOURSELF!!

b) When i did something wrongly i took the initiative to buy you gifts and wrote a sorry card for you. YOU NEVER DID THE SAME BUT YOU JUST FUCKING BLAME THIS, BLAME THAT!

YOU NEVER APPRECIATE THINGS I GAVE YOU! YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE THAT THE SORRY CARD I BOUGHT YOU WAS THE SAME ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR ME WITHOUT WRITINGS INSIDE! IT IS SO FUCKING INSINCERE!!

c) I have NEVER cried on my birthday before! thanks for making me remember this one best birthday EVER! THANK YOU.

d) I WOULD NEVER TOUCH THE GAME CALLED FRISBEE ANYMORE THANKS TO YOU AGAIN! FUCK THAT SHITTY GAME. I have NO TALENT at all! I can't even throw a stupid DISC properly. Yes you are right! i am fucking dumb!

e) " this is my 1st relationship i don't know what to do"

Fuck you! Do you think this is my 100th relationship? i would know what to do ALL THE TIME?

f) Since the start of the relationship I've already told you I love soft toys! but it never was something you realized. "if i buy you more you'll be sleeping on the floor" damn you.

g) How much do you understand me? Why every time you just don't support my ideas? when my Dad is also supportive with me!! Why when i tell you about work; i'm stressed why do you have to always say you are going through something worst?! why can't you just simply say hang on there; i know its hard for you! IS THAT SO HARD TO SAY? OR ARGUING WITH ME IS SO DAMN FUN WHEN I AM ALL STREESED UP?

h) 10 times when i'm sick i CARE ABOUT MYSELF! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE SICK? I don't think i have to explain? driving down 40min to make sure you're okay texting yr roommate; wipe sweat for you every 30min when you are having fever; made sure you ate medicine!!

4-5am I WOKE UP JUST TO call you REMIND YOU TO EAT MEDICINE! EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH YOUR PARENTS.

AND YET YOU CAN CLAIM!

"you know how worried i am when you're sick?" *with the FRUSTRATED TONE*

honestly i DON'T KNOW!! i remembered last year when i was sick you barely bothered; you barely called me. I almost cried waiting for your call! its like you don't even care if i died.

This year when i'm sick

1st sms - tonite bring u see doctor ( after i said i don't need )

2nd sms - lets go for movie.

I AM SICK, I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GO FOR A MOVIE WIF ME SINCE A LONG TIME AGO; I AGREED & I SACRIFICED MY RESTING TIME TO WATCH THE MOVIE WITH YOU! I SNEEZED THROUGHOUT THE BLARDY 2 HOURS!!

NEXT DAY I BECAME WORST! and again YOU ASKED ME FOR A MOVIE.

DO YOU REALLY CARE?? YOU ARE WORRIED?? hahaha *laughing*

i) YOU LOST YOUR FREEDOM? so you think i didn't lose mine? you are so selfish

I pushed every outing i have on Saturday; do you know? i'm not you i sacrifice and i don't COUNT OUT LOUD! NOW I AM DOING IT BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED !

j) What have you SINCERELY made for me? i can tell you NOTHING!

If you count a white paper enveloped STAPLED very sincere. and after i complained?

You know i've never received something i can keep from you; something more valuable.

Yet all your gifts i took at least A WEEK to make them.

k) YOU NEVER WROTE YOU LOVED ME ON MSN BEFORE! YOU NEVER DID.

l) YOU NEVER WANTED TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP AT FIRST; ITS LIKE I DON'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU

m) You even made me cry during exam!! all i wanted was to be with you. spend more time with you. YOU PUSHED ME AWAY to watch football; and its not like i didn't let you.

"don't you need to study?"

YES I NEED TO, YET I WAS THERE BECAUSE I'M AFRAID YOU ARE BORED! YET YOUR WORDS HURT ME SO BADLY!

n) Inception was such an important thing to you right? that your gf's feeling totally don't matter!

I can't even be compared to a stupid show.

o) You can raise your voice to me.. you can "fat lan cha" all you want now. It does not concern me anymore.

p) The wall paper of yr laptop was never me. Mine was always us.

q) Even christmas; my sisters wedding you made me angry. What else sweet memories have i left with you? Maybe you have a lot; because i pour my love towards you always. You never did the same. You are calculative; you complain....

Its the last time i'm ever going to cry my way home from work. Last time....

Talking without action is you..

Dad&Mum, thanks for being supportive with whatever decision i make. Thank you for not nagging; its really the least i needed right now. Thanks for telling me "I told you so" haha, which i predicted from you two..

I waited for your text on Saturday; i thought you would ask me to go to church with you. You didn't even mention.. it doesn't matter anymore. Really...

I have never been this angry before....