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Sunday, November 11, 2007 2:04 AM

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love is something so weird.
There is something in me, some weird feeling telling me i should not ignore him.
Its the fourth time i re-added him in my msn. 4th time that i really wanted to talk to him but his contact that was having problem on my msn. It was only his the one and only..

Maybe god is trying to say something.

yh had his couz wedding dinner tonite and indeed i picked his outfit. I told him to wear black slacks and pink pollar t-shirt. He told me it looks really good. O.O but his mum ask him wear blue blouse instead. Guess it was abit too informal since he's not going to attend their real wedding in malacca because of his A'lvls exam. Yes i have something with this guy. There is just something... some feelings i can't explain neither can i say its a crush, because deep down in me i still love that idiotic freak. But this guy really have the ability to make me hate the idiotic freak. Honestly he do, when i told him from starting he already sorta hated "him". Yh honestly is my dream guy. A guy any girl will want. Smart,tall, goodlooking. He once told me that he'll only get a gf when he can stand on his own feet. Which means earning his own money and pay for things when they go out. He don't wanna depend on his parents.

On the other hand, yes i am a bitch, i am an idiot, i am a fool, i am stupid, i am such a freak just because i broke up with someone. Talk behind my back all you want. Hate me for something i did right. I don't give a damn. I am not playing with anything is just that he ain't the right guy. When the puzzle don't fit it, just don't you can't MAKE it happen. Yes he is good. But just not my type. When he ain't my cup of tea. Don't you just get it? There is something that i can't stand about him and he had some similarities with someone i hated. I like being free i'm not the type that can be kept in a cage. I hate being tied down. I go my own way. I hate being hung up on. I hate being overly teased when it ain't the right time. I hate being on the wall of fame. I hate being the rumour. I hate sensitive ones. I need someone that can stand my temper, my sarcasm, my horrible jokes & the lack of time that i have. Lastly i just hate being pushed. I didn't ask him to hate you. Infact i told him the other way round. I'm sorry if you're reading this and you think is a peice of crap. But honestly the truth is truth. My love towards someone else started a long time ago. Longer than the time i've met him, but it just grew stronger after that. If you think you suffered, try being in my shoes. Having both side loving each other yet we can't be together. Its worst. Just a word of advice don't blame someone for the fault that I DID. if you want just come to me and scold me right on my face i wouldn't mind. Yes i am avoiding you because i know you'll ask for the reason. I really don't want to repeat it. Yes it is hard for him, but it'll be worst if we let it drag longer. I hate hurting i hate doing it but i have to. I'm sorry.

-emo-