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Thursday, October 25, 2007 10:30 PM

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8 more hours, and we are all done with exams. Exam-free!

EXAAM - FREEEEE...............................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn! can you imagineeeeeeeee even my maid asking.. your exam haven't finish?
This morning my conversation wif dadi

dad: today last day huh?
Me: *shakes head*
dad: then??!?!?!? when finish?
Me: Friday.
dad: HAR!?! next week friday?
Me: *in heart* [if next week friday i'll go suicide lor] tmr... friday...? O.O"
dad: Oh yeaaaahh~~~~

haha~ he didn't know today is thurs. =.=

Ugh~ why they gotta make bio paper last... i don't even have the mood to actually take up my book.
What i have in mind now?
exam-free
exam-free
exam-free
exam-free
exam-free~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole class was studying till half crazy i tell you...
The 2nd last paper, which is history.. everyone in class was like study study study..
i sat at the table with my history book until teacher call... EVELYN!!!! haiyooo~~~~ haha~
Amal took off her shoes while she was studying..
Diane's kurung was up up up...
Nad's legs was on the chair.
LoL! symptoms of studying till crazyyy..

Sigh* meeting tmr. Crap! wht kinda school is that! after exam straight meeting. WTF's
Summore... summoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................................... after meeting. WTF. Something called result. Called add math paper. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF............
STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..................... gah she can't let me ENJOY my weekend without something called self-guilt! For being such an ass hole that i forgot rhombus cuts IN DA MIDDLE to form something called 90 DEGREEES. and thus i lost 10 mrks. FUCK.
*runs in high speeed and bangs her head to the wall*
Died! i wish~

I'm going through all this without you.. or maybe i'm trying to go through it all without you. You kept wanting to come back in to my life. You're angry that i locked you out of it. I'm sorry. I don't think i am ready to get hurt, physically nor mentally. I think i'm doing just fine without you right now. I can't help that i fell in love with you. You ask me why did i. I am asking the same question, which i still can't get the answer out from my nerve cells. Maybe love is just complicated. Or just maybe i'm stupid enough to make it. I have the whole world that is loving me. I have someone that is dying to be with me. Someone that will die for me if he had to, but i picked someone else over him. Someone that i know will never have an ending with. It has always been like this.

"You'd rather see me than him ryte?"

Last week yes. This week no. I'm not looking forward to see you. I'm not looking forward to go out with you. No, i'm not angry over the lolipops. No i'm not angry over we can't be together because i already know this from the start. Yes, i don't even want to bump into you. I'm just angry with myself coz i already know the ending yet i let myself fall in it. I didn't stop myself earlier, and if i don't stop it now everything will be worst. I'm sorry if you think it is unexplainable & i'm sorry that you'd have to lie to yourself and say that you've never loved me or gotten into me. I'm sorry you can't take up the courage to end your past and start anew. I'm sorry because i won't be waiting for you. I'm sorry because I have the courage to end all the past and start everything again. I'm never scared of failure because what makes success is failure. The more i fall, the stronger i grow... the less naive i am. Now i can say aloud, that i no longer love you. I'm sorry if you think i treated you really coldly just now. Answering your messages was already a bonus. Stop treating me so good, because we've always been friends. Friends don't treat each other this way. Friends don't say, let say if we had a chance to be together. Friends don't say, what if we got married. I used to be best friends with a guy. I know it isn't this way. I'm sorry that i pierced your heart with the truth. In other words, i pierced both of our hearts. Why are you dying to see me when you don't miss me? why do you want me to look for you when you don't want me? why do you get jealous when i'm closer with someone else? Why when you say you're not into me you are so bothered to be in my life? with a reason because i am your very close friend? Why are you so bothered to make me happy when i'm not? I just don't get you. I'm sorry.