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Thursday, July 5, 2007 2:00 PM

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The reason : It was for my own good and its because i'm too young to think for myself.
Yes, I knoe how much you all are worried that i will pick the wrong path.
I'm not stupid to have think studies is not important.
And if you all think i'm acting all weird coz of my phone then you can go on.
Juz because i exaggerated abt my needs of my phone it doesn't mean i can die without it.

1st of all may i point out.
You don't allow me to go camp
Its for MY OWN GOOD.
You stopped my tuition
Its for MY OWN GOOD & because i hv no interest in addmath.
(i don't think you knoe me)
You don't allow me to join TKD
Its FOR MY OWN GOOD.
You don't allow me to learn Guitar
ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
You don't allow me to go out wif gals
Its Dangerous & its for my OWN GOOD.
You don't allow me to go out wif boys
ITS Dangerous also AND ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
You don't like me going skating
ITS also MY OWN GOOD.

What is not dangerous can you plz point out?
Staying in at home for 24/7 is not dangerous u mean?
Wht if dere is flash floods?
Wht if the hse got caught on fire?
Wht if I suicide?
Is that safe to you?

By keeping my phone you think i will talk to you then you are wrong!
Next thing you gonna do is take away the computer right?
I'm not threaten by this.
If you want go ahead.

How do you want me to talk to you?
All you say to me is just owh you caan never study.
You shud juz stop studying after SPM.
I'm not going to give you money to go college.
If you think of money so importantly then FYI i'm not even looking forward to ask you for money to study.
I have hands n legs to work n get my own!
Before i can finish my sentence tht i wanna go out wif my friends you juz say NO and don't ask why.
Is how we communicate?
Don't you realize now tht you say no i dun even bother to ask why anymore?
Coz you will juz shut me up.
Wht's the point of asking?
I ald knoe i can't freaking go so do you think i will ask for dissapointment?
Can you tell me how to talk to you?
Owh this guy has a crush on me.
or shall i say owh dat guy so handsome i like him!
(plz think of your reaction to me when i say that)
So do you think i will tell you anything like this??

Sometimes when i think back i really miss the days when i go in yr room daily n talk abt everything.
Nothing to hide abt, no hatred, only laughters.
I really missed it.
When my sisters are young, they get to go out get groceries every weekend doing things a family does.Dinners every weekend.Go trips to shopping malls n supermarkets. Those fights that we have when i was so young. Those late night cinema days.
It is juz gone.
Gone when i'm only 11.
After granma had stroke have we really been doing anything as a family before?
Its either when i make an effort to go to some childish places dat you all say dwn n stuffs like dat or is either oni half the family is there.
Yeah you realize i wanted to go to some place for a reason all the time.
Don't you realize the fun is juz not there when you don't do it in a family?

Its not that i'm trying to pull myself out from the family.
Its just all the things that you've all done.
You can deny it.
Deny everything & say its me having some stupid attitude problem.
But think back, when you were all young you have all those attentions, i'm the left out one.
In all this year i'm like stuck in the house.
There you blame that i always sit infront of the computer.
What do you want me to do over the holidays?
I can't go out with friends.
Nobody is even free to bring me out.
So what do you want me to do besides chatting n playing maple?

What did i get when i got top 3 in class?
You said it was my luck.
n you said coz i was in some mediocre class.
I didn't hear you praise me before.
Not once why even mention twice.
What you did to me was not letting me play maple and deleting it.
Why not put yourself in my shoes n see how you feel?
I like playing basketball do you even knoe?
Who can i play with besides ghost and air?
I can't even go out with any of my friends to actually get a nice game with them.
I can juz stare at people playing it with a word DESPERATE on my face!

Kau fu told me he don't believe me that i've nvr come here skating before.
He don't even believe tht i've nvr gone out wif my friends in this 16 years of my life.
He juz went speechless when i told him.

You can compare me with rachael i too can compare you.
In this years of life for whatever i do wrong i have to apologize, but whatever you all did wrong you have never once said sorry to me.

Its not that i want to be like this.
Its just that i don't even knoe what i can say anymore.
I'm juz too tired to argue with you, i'm juz too fed-up, i'm juz too speechless to talk to anyone of you.

"why your parents like this?"
If i can answer this question i would hv done it to myself.

- i can say nothing more -