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Friday, June 15, 2007 9:25 PM

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Fuck it larh!
I fucking ald told i hate it!
I fucking hate everyone now!
I'm fucking not gonna go home & you better watch me change! xD
IN A BAD WAY!
Studies?
Wads tht i dun think i knoe!
Yeah throw my bag away! i like it!
i dun even wanna see my text books =)
i can finally put the smile in my face now yay~
i did it finally i can smile when they are scolding me now!

Wtv larh!!!!

I don't fucking care anymore!
I'm successfull now is thanks to MYSELF not anyone of you.
All you all did is help me get hated at skewl, helped me get hated by teachers.
I still can remember that once.
I cried at skewl, years back.
The teacher mentioned the word sister.
I'm juzt nolonger tht weak me.
I can see how much i changed from then and now.
I too see the change, can you imagine how much my family has changed me tht they don't realize?
If you seriously think i hate my family you are so wrong.
If you say i dun respect any of you, then you are wrong.
WRONG.
If i dun care abt my family, i wun get to cry like hell whenever talked abt it.
So juz shuddup, sut abt everything!
You are not me you won't knoe.
So wad if family was in the 1st place?
Look at those things happen in this few years.
It may not seem serious to you,
But hell yea it is to me.
Little things you may not see changed me.
Yea you all can say its abt guys n all wtv shit larh, but to tell you the truth all this while i oni fall for ONE n ONLY guy before.
That itself i never even cried for him before!
Friends yup, i will nvr forget tht, i cried abt tht before not as bad as this i shall still say.
Now i hv it all friends everything i'm loved every corner by them =)
Yea you all love me too, in a wrong way don't you think?
You make me feel like taking a knife n stab myself.
You all make me feel like going to my caunselling teacher.
You make me feel like i wanna slit my wrist.
You make me think dying is a choice.
You make me feel like walking right out to the other side of the world.
You make me feel like to leave right NOW n nvr return.
Yes is a ONE WAY path.
Straight clears, but i foresee someday it might juz happen to myself.
I have never wished tht i'd cried myself blind before, this is the 1st time.
If i'm blind i don't need to face you anymore!
If i'm blind i don't need to explain eevrything to myself anymore!
The amount of ppl tht came n cross by telling me how much i hv changed,
Friends tht scolded me,
saying how can you be like this now?
Wad happen to the old you?
You were so perfect last year!
wad happen?
This year you are such the opposite.
Please i really want to see the old you.
This is wht everyone told me.
I think tht old me is juz lost.
LOST, GONE, HIDDEN, NO LONGER WANT TO SEE THEM maybe?
I want back myself too, its just lost...
The perfectionist me!
The used to be me!
The loved yet responsible me!
wherever are you? i want you back, i can no longer stand in this body, i'm tired, tired of everything.
Maybe thts why you left at the 1st place huh?
Is smoking so fun?
can alcohol help me to get rid of all this thoughts?
NOW i'm thinking the wrong way!
yes i am,
Talking like an insane don't you think?
but its seriously wad i feel like ryte now!